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| Fucking Missouri. |
This looked like a lame slate of Bowls but came within 4 point of being a shocker. Read on.
Ohio State's QB1 has a tantrum and enters the portal. The Bucks start QB2 who turns out to have ankles of glass and gets hurt (again). Clueless Ohio State coaching staffers leave him in there, like a wounded animal, so he can take a few more bone shattering hits, then they replace him with a petrified true freshman who has apparently been in South America all season. Just for kicks the TOSU staff benches their center and shuffles an already terrible O-line to maximize penalties, turnstile sacks and turnovers. Missouri blitzes all eleven, on every play and TOSU doesn't adjust.
Missouri curbstomps the Bucks 14 - 3 in a snoozer Cotton Bowl. McLovin on suicide watch.
Ole Miss makes Penn State look pedestrian, 38 - 25. Big-game James Franklin douches another one.
People (people like Snottie) derided The Commissioner when he put up the Wisconsin - LSU game. Everybody but brain-damaged Ronde' picked LSU. But it turned out to be the best game of the three, so fuck you, Snottie.
LSU 35 - Wisconsin Badgers 31.
SockPuppet. 1 to go to 47. Costly wager on B1G Ten teams.
Lola. 1 to go to 39. That won't get it done.
BreauxFreaux. 1 to go to 45. Oops.
Timmy! Add one to go to 32. Somewhere a gas station attendant is making fun of you.
Snottie. Oh, Gee. You got 1. wow. 41.
DPo. SWEEP! Add 5 to go to 49. Holy shit. The Po with the timely move.
Chiba. 2 to make 48. Respectable.
Q. SWEEP! Sweet redemption for the riverboat gambler. Add 5 to make 27.
McLovin. 2 to get 39. Homer TOSU pick costs him the SWEEP.
$$uke. 2 to go to 37. Samesies as McLovin on the TOSU gambit.
KBron. 2 to go to 29.
DTBH. 2 to make 29. Q has almost as many as you and she bet the ranch. You call yourself a man?!
Ronde'. 1 to go to 45. I assume you don't want to win.
CCS. 2 to go to 49. Penn State? Really? You're usually paying attention. Odd.
Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life
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