1. Q : Texas A&M (#14): up 3 in the poll. You get a win. A no drop. 15 + 5 = 20. Breaking the Glass Ceiling, Q. The Leader.
2. SkHank: Stanford Cardinal (#21): Dumps ClemboSlice and his Troymen. DIIIIIIDLE. 1 for the win, 4 for landing at #21, 5 for the Didl. 10 - 8 = 2 . From outer darkness to positive territory in one glorious weekend. And at the expense of another BRFLer making it doubly sweet. Kudos.
3. Dpo: Virginia Tech ( still unranked): you get a win. You have 2 points, Commissioner Baiter. Are lunch pails still cool when they're full of dog SHIT?
4. CCS: Boise State Broncos (unranked): You win. You were at -5. A great leap forward. -4. LoserLand.
5. ClemboSlice: USC Trojans #19: pounded by the Stanford Cardinal you flush your shit down to #19, that is minus 13, Bitch. I told you this would happen, Apostate. You lie prostrate at -7. I am baffled that you are both still ranked and ranked ABOVE the team that just kicked your ass. USC is a thug mini-state and you are going to hell sure as shit.
6. SockPuppet: THE Ohio State University #1: you win, no drop, 2 points. NIU almost stole your cheese. N. I. U. Make a fucking decision with the quarterbacks, okay, douchebagger? Plus 1 is your new home and you are on pace to win absolutely nothing but 'Biggest Numbskull" for this pick.
7. BroFro: Louisville Cardinals (unranked): 0. Naught into naught equals naught, JethroBitch. I can cut and paste this shit all season long, Paul. Seriously. You are so screwed that I don't see any hope for you in all of God's universe. Prayer and good works will not redeem your ass so don't bother. Don't embarrass yourself with that nonsense.
8 Killer Bee: Georgia Bulldogs #7: win, staying put at #7 gives you the no drop point, 7 is home for you now. NIck Chubb uber alles!
9. Teeblations: Notre Dame #6: Win,no drop, total 9. Let's look at this more closely. Should you get a no drop point if the team you play is obviously heavily tranquilized and quite possibly tripping on acid? I guess. Don't feel guilty. Seriously. Don't. God sees everything. Especially that you have no business being #6. I see a Shadow of Doom cast upon your buttocks.
10. SeaSquatch: Meechy State #2: 1 for the win, 2 for the move,1 for the no drop, you stand at +8. i don't really feel like saying "good pick" so I"ll just say "fuck you".
11. McLovin': TCU Horned Frogs #3: starts at -2, wins +1, 1 for the no drop. You are a big god damn zero, McLoviin'. And your injuries and arrests are piling up. I see you crying crocodile tears onto your vastly diminished check book, Mister Man. But, hey, that's just me.
12. Randouche: Arkansas Razorbacks (unranked): Bert Bielema? Are you shitting me? Have you learned nothing in 9 years of BRFL action? Here's the bad news: You lost to a mega-Douche program (TTech) and an analingus pervert named Kliff (with a K) Kingsbury. The good news? You're still only MINUS TEN. If I wasn't the Commissioner and above such petty emotions I would feel sorry for you.
13. Chimposuke: Ole Miss Rebels #3: 1 for the win, 12 for the move up, 1 for the no drop, add to +6. Hmmmm. Knocked off the #2 team in the land ON THE ROAD. A 14 point weekend. You don't see THAT everyday. Let me do some math here. Oh. Golly. I have 20. I am tied with the Leader. I picked second to last. I think I love me. A whole LOT, Bitches.,
14. SnotNose: Clemson #11: 1 for the win, you don't move up because you barely won against an unranked team, 1 for the no drop. Mr. "Somehow getting by" with + 7.
Yours Sincerely,
Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life
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