Q-Woman: Downs the hated Pigs on the road. Bert Bielema Death Watch begins. Why were you spouting gibberish on the GG platform? Have you gone daft? Still, you are the Leader. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, naught for the move up. 22.
Hank. The Undead. Shoots Beavers in Corvallis. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. AP smiles upon you with a move up 3 to #18. +7 is your total Mr. Smart-ass.
DPo. The Pirates run Scarface through a local douchebag and V Tech drops a must win road game. Naught into naught equals naught on the week. You are +2.
CCS. Boise wins on the road in Virginia. 1 for the win. Total "grows" to minus 3.
ClemboSlice. USC puts the wood to the Sun Devils in Arizona. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, 2 for the move up to #17, Bunk mates with Chip n' Dale at minus 3.
Sock Puppet. TOSU pushes Western Meechy around at home. Big deal. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. You have +3. Admit you shit your pants when they carted off Darron Lee and I will respect you. Admit you had a major orgasm when he came back on the field and I will respect you more.
BroFro. Louisville gets a win. Okay, it was over Samford. What is "Samford"? You now have one point. It was a home game.
Killer Bee. Georgia "dominates" Southern. Again, what is "Southern"? Is it a school? Sony Michell. Nick Chubb. Do you have a quarterback? AP does you a nasty minus 1. 1 for the win. Naught for no drop. Big fat zero on the weekend. You have +7.
Teebs. Golden Domers pick on U Mass. 1 for the win. 1 for the no drop. Move up? Are you shitting me? Add 2, you have +9.
SeaScum. Meechy State dumps Central Meechy at home. Wow. 1 for the win. 0 for the no drop. But wait. The AP says, 'not so fast, My Friend!". You drop one. Goose egg weekend. Stay at +8.
McLuvin'. TCU survives against TTech AT HOME. Again, AP metes out a spanking. You drop to #4. 1 for the win. Naught on the weekend. Stay at 0, Zero.
Randoo. God. Your life is, like, so fucked right now. At home Bert Bielema lays you the bone again and drops his fourth (4th!) in a row, this time to the Aggies. Double. Digit. DeathSpiral. Stay at minus 10.
Jimbosuke. Ole Miss in a less than overwhelming win over Vandy, in Oxford, 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. Still tied with the Leader at +22 and hangin' around at #3 in the AP.
Snotty. Here's a beautiful thing. (I thought so, anyway). Had a bye week. And the AP said, "Fuck YOU, Scott", just the same and dropped you one in the poll. Welcome to +6 Mr. Not Such Good Fortune.
BroFro: 11 adds 2, 13. New Leader.
Killer B: 3, skunked, still at 3.
Teeblations: 6, missed the round, 6.
SeaScum: 9 add 1, 10.
McLovin': 7 add 2, 9
Randoogle: 7 add 1, 8
Jimbosuke: 7 blanked, 7.
Snottie; 2 add 2, 4.
Looks like the purse will be $240 this year, since we have 12 participating.
Split the usual way.
Payment for last year's GG coming soon. Those who have not paid last year's fee please send it my way.
1. Q : Texas A&M (#14): up 3 in the poll. You get a win. A no drop. 15 + 5 = 20. Breaking the Glass Ceiling, Q. The Leader. 2. SkHank: Stanford Cardinal (#21): Dumps ClemboSlice and his Troymen. DIIIIIIDLE. 1 for the win, 4 for landing at #21, 5 for the Didl. 10 - 8 = 2 . From outer darkness to positive territory in one glorious weekend. And at the expense of another BRFLer making it doubly sweet. Kudos. 3. Dpo: Virginia Tech ( still unranked): you get a win. You have 2 points, Commissioner Baiter. Are lunch pails still cool when they're full of dog SHIT? 4. CCS: Boise State Broncos (unranked): You win. You were at -5. A great leap forward. -4. LoserLand. 5. ClemboSlice: USC Trojans #19: pounded by the Stanford Cardinal you flush your shit down to #19, that is minus 13, Bitch. I told you this would happen, Apostate. You lie prostrate at -7. I am baffled that you are both still ranked and ranked ABOVE the team that just kicked your ass. USC is a thug mini-state and you are going to hell sure as shit. 6. SockPuppet: THE Ohio State University #1: you win, no drop, 2 points. NIU almost stole your cheese. N. I. U. Make a fucking decision with the quarterbacks, okay, douchebagger? Plus 1 is your new home and you are on pace to win absolutely nothing but 'Biggest Numbskull" for this pick. 7. BroFro: Louisville Cardinals (unranked): 0. Naught into naught equals naught, JethroBitch. I can cut and paste this shit all season long, Paul. Seriously. You are so screwed that I don't see any hope for you in all of God's universe. Prayer and good works will not redeem your ass so don't bother. Don't embarrass yourself with that nonsense. 8 Killer Bee: Georgia Bulldogs#7: win, staying put at #7 gives you the no drop point, 7 is home for you now. NIck Chubb uber alles! 9. Teeblations: Notre Dame#6: Win,no drop, total 9. Let's look at this more closely. Should you get a no drop point if the team you play is obviously heavily tranquilized and quite possibly tripping on acid? I guess. Don't feel guilty. Seriously. Don't. God sees everything. Especially that you have no business being #6. I see a Shadow of Doom cast upon your buttocks. 10. SeaSquatch:Meechy State#2: 1 for the win, 2 for the move,1 for the no drop, you stand at +8. i don't really feel like saying "good pick" so I"ll just say "fuck you". 11. McLovin': TCU Horned Frogs#3: starts at -2, wins +1, 1 for the no drop. You are a big god damn zero, McLoviin'. And your injuries and arrests are piling up. I see you crying crocodile tears onto your vastly diminished check book, Mister Man. But, hey, that's just me. 12. Randouche: Arkansas Razorbacks(unranked): Bert Bielema? Are you shitting me? Have you learned nothing in 9 years of BRFL action? Here's the bad news: You lost to a mega-Douche program (TTech) and an analingus pervert named Kliff (with a K) Kingsbury. The good news? You're still only MINUS TEN. If I wasn't the Commissioner and above such petty emotions I would feel sorry for you. 13. Chimposuke:Ole Miss Rebels #3: 1 for the win, 12 for the move up, 1 for the no drop, add to +6. Hmmmm. Knocked off the #2 team in the land ON THE ROAD. A 14 point weekend. You don't see THAT everyday. Let me do some math here. Oh. Golly. I have 20. I am tied with the Leader. I picked second to last. I think I love me. A whole LOT, Bitches., 14. SnotNose: Clemson#11: 1 for the win, you don't move up because you barely won against an unranked team, 1 for the no drop. Mr. "Somehow getting by" with + 7. Yours Sincerely, Jimbosuke, Commissioner for Life
We were all greatly disappointed this summer when Chimpbosucksbigones yanked the plug on the only reason we endure his weekly drivel: The payoutpalooza. To his credit, the Commish quickly deflected any accountability away from himself and rested it squarely on the shoulders of his somewhat addle-minded brother, McSukee. Mysterious injury that was never quite explained became the excuse du jour as we were led to believe that J-hole rushed to McLovin's side.
What was this injury? The League offices have obtained some exclusive footage depicting the dim-witted Lacava "training for the season" in the government supported housing units in Lafayette. Was he trying to make it to Cooperstown with the party libations? Dunno. But this, my fellow beleaguered Leagures, is why none of got to taste Barb's pie this year.
1. Q : Texas A&M (#16): drop a point in the poll. But you get a win. 15 still, The Leader. 2. SkHank: Stanford Cardinal (unranked): got a win. -8. Congratulations. 3. Dpo: Virginia Tech (unranked): you get a win. You have 1 point, Commissioner Diss-Bitch. QB still out for 4-8 weeks. 4. CCS: Boise State Broncos (unranked): You lose. -5 for the drop. -5 for the REAM. Welcome to Shit Town, Mr. -5 total. 5. ClemboSlice: USC Trojans #6: +2 on the move, 1 for the win, no drop, add to last week, 6 total. Your time is coming, Blasphemer. 6. SockPuppet: THE Ohio State University #1: you win, no drop, 2 points. You are now only -1. 7. BroFro: Louisville Cardinals (unranked): 0. Naught into naught equals naught, JethroBitch. 8 Killer Bee: Georgia Bulldogs#7: win, move up three, no drop point, 5 is your new address. News: sooner or later you will have to complete a forward pass. Nick Chubb to Nick Chubb? 9. Teeblations: Notre Dame#6: Win, move up one, no drop, total 7, total bullshit. 10. SeaSquatch: Meechy State#4: 1 for the win, 1 for the move,1 for the no drop, you stand at +4. 11. McLovin': TCU Horned Frogs#3: starts at -4, wins +1, 1 for the drop. Add 2, you tread water at -2. 12. Randouche: Arkansas Razorbacks(unranked): Never, ever put your trust in Bert Bielema. Please place your seats and tray tables in the upright and locked position. Power dive with the loss, the drop (-7) and the REAM (-5), that's -12 on the week), you are laid to rest at -10. 13. Chimposuke: Ole Miss Rebels #15: 1 for the win, 2 for the move up, 1 for the no drop, add to +2, Commissioner with 6 after two Pay-Day games. Alabama up next. 14. SnotNose: Clemson#11: 1 for the win, 1 for the move up, 1 for the no drop. Mr. Boring with +5.
