New Years Day CFP Games

 New Years Bowls.

Au revoir, Bif Poggi.

CFP Quarterfinal at the Orange Bowl

(#5) Oregon vs (#4) Texas Tech

Hard Rock Stadium, Miami Gardens, FL

Noon, ESPN

CFP Quarterfinal at the Rose Bowl

(#9) Alabama vs (#1) Indiana

Rose Bowl, Pasadena, CA

4 PM, ESPN

CFP Quarterfinal at the Sugar Bowl

(#6) Ole Miss vs (#3) Georgia

Caesars Superdome, New Orleans, LA

8 PM, ESPN

Roll the bones, 2026.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

GG Bowls, Chapter 3

 Three meaningless Bowls. 

All December 27th.

Bad Boy Mowers Pinstripe Bowl.

Penn State vs Clemson, Yankee Stadium, the Bronx, NY. 

Noon abc. 

Pop-Tarts Bowl.

Georgia Tech vs BYU, Camping World Stadium, Orlando, FL.

3:30 abc.

Kinder's Texas Bowl.

LSU vs Houston, NRG Stadium, Houston, TX.

9:15 ESPN.

Three games that don't mean anything to anybody (except Q and Teebs) but, what the hell, it's a Saturday. 

Roll the bones.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

GG: CFP First Round

 On campus games.

Miami Hurricanes 10, Texas A&M 3. So much for the home field advantage and the "12th Man". The 'Canes ran all over TAMU. Michael Irvin (remember him?) went bat-shit crazy. He crawled on all fours. He kissed Mario Cristobal during a post-game interview. He stretched a TAMU jersey (#12) over a garbage can on the sidelines, and whipped it with a belt. And these were just the moments caught on camera. Based on this game, Miami looks fierce. Could Mario Cristobal finds a way to fuck things up?

It did take him a long time to figure out he could run on TAMU. 

Miami will be playing Ohio State which, again based on this game, bodes ill for Buckeye fans as the 'Canes D-line is playing at an extremely high level. 

McLovin was the lone GGer to pick the Hurricanes. 

Ole Miss destroys Tulane 41 - 10 in Oxford. 3 GGers went with the Wave. No one knows why. Trinidad Chambliss is lobbying for a sixth year of eligibility. Probably hoping for a growth spurt to move up in the draft. I don't really know. Guessing. 

"This is fun! Wait ..."

Oregon guts James Madison U, 51 - 34 in Eugene. JMU scored 34 but they were chucking it downfield on almost every play so, difficult to tell what that 34 points means. 

Q: 1 to go to 35. Like, do you just not give a shit?

Chiba: 2 to make 35. Still in there pitching. Whatever, KC.

DogTheBountyHunter: 2 to reach 29. This is not very good.

Lola: 2 to get to 28. I'm thinking 'lost cause' on GG for you, Lola.

Ronde': 1, which is pathetic, but you have 34, Tulane fan.

DPo: No entry. Did I miss them? Help me out here. Tentatively you still have 30.

SockPuppet: 2 to go to 37. Kind of sinking in GG.

KBronie: 2 to make 46 and a share of the lead. 

$$uke the Mindless: 2. Total 34. Mr. Nobody.

Psycho: 2. Boom. 46 and a share of the lead. Nice. 

Teebs: 2 + 39 and you have 41. Could still do some damage. 

McLovin: 2 to make 35. Smart enough to pick Miami, crazy enough to pick Tulane.

Big Dom: 2 to go to 44. Lurking. Chasing glory.

BreauxFreaux: 2 to go to 46 and a share of the three way lead. I warned you about this asshole. 

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

Bowls, Chapter 1 Results

 Dawn of the Bowls.

Kennesaw State gets molested by Western Meechy, 41 - 6. That's the way the Myrtle Beach Bowl goes sometimes. A total blow-out.

Not sure about this match-up. Kennesaw State (I had to look it up) is in Georgia. But, let's face it, K State can't outbid UGA and Geo Tech. Money talks. Whatever. 

Incredibly, two BRFLers picked Kennesaw State to win this one. And why not? Does anybody know anything about either of these teams, other than, head-to-head, Kennesaw State is no match for the Broncos? Why would anybody know about these teams? Moving on.

When NC State scored 21 points in the first half before Memphis got on the board, you knew this one had the makings of a snoozer. Memphis finally scored and never scored again. They turned it over twice. Nobody scored at all in the second half. Snoozer? Well ... yeah. NC State 31, Memphis 7. The death knell has sounded for Broney's Tigers.

Two knucklehead GGers had Memphis.

And then the CFP began. 

Oklahoma came blasting out of the chute to a 17 - 0 lead and the fans in Norman were buyin' up tickets to the Rose Bowl. John Mateer could do no wrong. Many is the Okie who started another 'DeBoer to Michigan' rumor. 

Then the Sooners imploded. What the fuck happened on the punt? We may never understand what that was about. Man-God Mateer delivered his usual signature disaster play by lasering a pick-six directly to a lonely Tide DB's gloved hands. Nice tackle by the way, John. After a 17 point second stanza, Alabama outscored the Sooners 17 - 7 in the second half. 

Fun Facts: Oklahoma passed for  more yards. They ran for almost twice as many yards (though both teams sucked at running the football). Oklahoma was playing at home. But Oklahoma has Brent Venables as an HC and Alabama has Kalen DeBoer. One of those guys is psychotic and one coaches Alabama. 

In the end, Alabama 34, Oklahoma 24.

Q: SWEEP! 5 to step up to 34. This was big, Q.

Chiba Chews: SWEEP! 5 to get 33, Cheebs. 

DogTheBountyHunter: 1. Tripped up by the Sooners and the Tigers. You have 27. Not great.

Lola: GUTTERBALL. 0 on the week. Stay at 26. Just, not good.

Ronde': 2 to reach 33. Solid action.

DPo: 1. Really? Total 30.

SockPuppet: SWEEP! 5 to go to 35. Colossal BRFL implications.

KBronieBoy:2 to go to 44. Bronie sharing the lead. 

$$uke the Mindless: SWEEP! 5 to crawl to 32. Big deal.

Psycho: SWEEP! 5 to get to 44. Tied for the lead.

Teeblations: SWEEP! Freakish. Only yesterday, you sucked at this. Total 39.

McLovin: SWEEP! This fucking guy. 5 to go to 33. He got 3 BRFL points for this win.

Big Dom: 2 to lurch to 42. Knocked off the lead with an untimely Sooner pick.

BreauxFreaux: SWEEP! 5 to reach 44 and a share of the lead. I warned you about this asshole. 

"Just doin' my job, Brent."

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life. 

 

CFP first round Campus Games

 CFP first round, on -campus games games

You have a little over 24 hours to pick these games.

University of Miami @ Texas A&M, Saturday, Noon, abc and ESPN. 

Tulane Green Wave @ Ole Miss, Saturday, 3:30 PM, TNT, HBO Max (??)

James Madison U @ Oregon, Saturday, 7:30, TNT, HBO Max (??)

I don't really know what TNT is. And I don't think I have HBO Max. 

Whatever.

Roll the bones,

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

Bowlapolypse, Chapter 1

 Dawn of the Bowls. 

Friday. 12/19. 

Myrtle Beach Bowl

Kennesaw State vs  Western Michigan

Conway, SC

11 AM ESPN

Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl

Memphis Tigers vs NC State Wolf Pack

Tampa, FL

2:30 PM ESPN

CFP Round One 'On Campus' Game

Alabama at Oklahoma

Norman, OK

8 PM, ABC, ESPN

Roll the bones.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 15 Results

Cignetti gonna' cignetti

 Week 15.

Conference Championships.

The Dream dies for Q in Arlington. All that money Texas Tech spent in the off-season pays off as the Raiders give the Cougs a pasting, 34 - 7. Bear Bachmeier is battered and gimpy after the first quarter, but he sure looked good on that first drive. After that, not so much. TTech earns the first round bye. If I'm Quathy (and I'm not) I'm hoping Sock Puppy's Texas A&M squad never gets off the tarmac and loses in the first round. Then it just comes down to GG. Tight it is, Obie Wan.

Georgia lays a whuppin' on Alabama. Dawgs 28, Tide 7 in the SEC finale. Nobody wants to play Georgia right now. I speak for myself when I say that a timely flu epidemic in their practice facility would not be unwelcome. Aren't these the guys that are all the time getting arrested for driving 140 mph in school zones? One can hope. Law enforcement, wake the fuck up! Tide is still in the playoffs (it's an SEC thing). McLovin has big dreams. Alabama rushed for -3 yards against the Bulldogs.

Um ... Jayden Fielding is not exactly clutch. With a chance to (likely) send a game, during which they pretty much sucked, into overtime, the Buckeye kicker blasts a 27 yd FG attempt deep into the stands, way wide right. That's a 27 yarder, People. Emblematic of Ohio State's star-studded offense in Indianapolis, where they managed a miserable 10 total points and insisted on playing turtle-ball and lining up as many tight ends on the field as they could, on almost every play. Indiana turnstiles Buckeye offensive linemen all game long. B1G officiating crew says it's 'okay' to tackle Ohio State D linemen. Holding is not a "thing" in the B1G. All that aside, this was a total douche job by the crew from Columbus. 

Indiana 13, Ohio State 10. Indiana. Fucking Indiana University!

There was exactly one sweep. 

Q. Only 1. 29 is your total. Suddenly, you need to focus like a laser beam on GG.

Chiba. 2. You have 28. Your team won the Mountain West, Bro. Congratulations.

DogTheBountyHunter. GUTTERBALL. Somebody had to roll one. You have 26. Tied for last. 

Lola. 2 to reach 26. It's a little less lonely at the bottom.

Ronde'. 1 to make 31. Trying harder than most years.

DPo. 2 to get up to 29. Imagine me making a fart noise.

Sock. 2 to add up to 30. Win in the playoffs and GG is no big deal. Lose and GG is your LIFE.

KBroniePonyBoy. SWEEP! 5 to take the lead at 42. Nice.

$$uke. 1. Total 27. Just sad. 😞

Psycho. 2 to hit 39. Is this the best you've ever done in GG, BlowHole?

Teebs. Add 2 to make 34. Performing at a surprisingly respectable level.

McLovin. 1 to get 28. Are you, like, a pervert?

Big Dom. 2 to hit 40, but sucking hind tit to the Broney now.

BroFro. 2 to reach 39. I told you; Watch out for this scumbag.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 14 Results

 Week 14.

Rivalry Week.

Texas 27, TAMU 17, in Austin, Texas. DTBH, DPo and McLovin all took Texas. Everybody else got bitch-slapped. I did not see this one coming. Should have. The Longhorns on a Friday night in Austin in the Lone Star Showdown? I didn't see this game. But the box score says something about Marcel Reed tossing a couple INTs in the fourth quarter. Sockpuppet feels pain.

Ohio State 27, Michigan 9. The Ohio State O-line wakes from its slumber and dog-walks the Maize and Blue. Note #77, the much maligned right guard (Tegra Tshabola) and tight end Will Kacmarek (#89) doing a little road grading for Isaiah West, one of two OSU freshman RBs that had success in Ann Arbor on Saturday afternoon. 

 

Vanderbilt 45, Tennessee 24, in Knoxville. I started watching this game and, for most of the first half, it looked like anybody's game to win. Turned back to it later and Vanderbilt was kicking the living shit out of the Vols. Another chapter written in The Book of Diego. And to think, he's only 35 years old. A big, hot, steaming shit taken on Ronde's dreams that he definitely wasn't asking for. 

Q. 1 to reach 28. Q's killing it in the BRFL. Does not give one shit about GG.

Chiba. 1 to go to 26. I'm tired of your excuses.

DogTheBountyHunter. 2 to snag 26. Hook 'em.

Lola. 2 to make it to 24. That's last place.

Ronde'. Scores 1 to make it to 30. These points are suddenly crucial for  you.

DPo. 25 + 2 = 27. Hook 'em.

SockPuppet. 2 to get 28. Grief is a part of life, Homie.

KBronieBoy. 2 to storm up to 37. What's your deal?!

$$uke. 1. Total 26. Just, well, completely unacceptable. 

Psycho. 2. Turns out he had Vandy and I didn't count it. Holy shit, he's tied for the lead. He'd better be. He has Illinois. 38 total. 

Teebs. Just 1. But a respectable total of 32. Cheating?

McLovin. 2. Total 27. I have negative feelings about this.

Big Dom. Only 1 but this fucker is still crushing it with 38. Very uncomfortable with this situation.

BreauxFreaux. Just the 1. BUT. The Fro now has 37 so don't sleep on The Bro.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 15 Games

 Week 15.

Conference Championships.

Now, this here? This is a slate of games that a Commissioner can be proud of. All Saturday games.

BYU vs. Texas Tech, noon, ABC, AT&T Stadium, Arlington, TX.

Georgia vs Alabama, 4 PM, ABC, Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, GA.

Indiana vs Ohio State, 8 PM, Fox, Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, Indiana.

Roll the bones, People. 

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life