Farmageddon.
Just to be an asshole, DogTheBountyHunter decided to get a jump on the season and play a game during Week Zero. Why do they allow Week Zero? Who are 'they', even?
Fuck off. I don't know the answers to these questions.
In an effort to make the game look as disorganized and sloppy as possible, Iowa State and Kansas State played their game in Ireland, a country renowned for its crisp, warm and sunny late summer days.
It pissed down rain for most of the game. Both teams lost two fumbles. The K State quarterback's DAD and his other son (maybe he has more than two sons, how the hell would I know that?) ended up trying to beat each others brains out in a giant puddle outside of Aviva Stadium in Dublin fucking Ireland. Nobody knows why, and they said they're sorry. For being classic American football fans? That's not something to say you're 'sorry' about, Douchebags. Where's your pride? Are you fucking communists now? You got in a giant puddle, take-him-to-the-ground, sumbitch fight in Dublin after your son and brother lost to the Iowa State Cyclones in something called 'The Aer Lingus Classic'. That's awesome. Hold your heads up high, Brothers.
Incidentally, in Gaelic, Aer Lingus means, 'Feather my bung'.
I mention this whole fucking covfefe because DogTBH earned +1 last weekend while the rest of us were masturbating and thinking, however briefly, about the first GG slate of games.
No new AP Poll came out after week zero so Doggie just gets one point.
DTBH heads into Week 1 with +1.
Get the hell out of here now.
Lance Herbstrong,
Commissioner for Life
