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Thursday, August 29, 2019

The Legend of Joey Freshwater

"You throw it like this, Tua!"

In the beginning there was Ron Mexico.  And then cometh Carlos Danger. But then followed hence the coming of...Joey Freshwater. There is probably a perfectly reasonable explanation for this alleged incident. And, sure, it's probably a piece of total bullshit that the famously obnoxious Buckeye fan base has mythologized into fact. In other words it's probably FAKE NEWS. But "Joey Freshwater" is still definitely a "thing" and, gosh darn it, it's fun.
Enjoy.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Sunday, August 25, 2019

It's Go Time



 And we're underway with Season 13!


BroFro, unranked Army Black Knights; 0
Randi, unranked Virginia Cavaliers; 0
SkHank AP #25, Stanford Cardinal; 0
SockPuppet #24, Nebraska Cornhuskers; 0
DPo #23, Washington State Cougars; 0
Kitten #17, University Central Florida Knights; 0
Jimbosuke #15, Utah Utes; 0
Q #11, Oregon Ducks; 0
Obama #10, Texas Longhorns; -1
Timmy! #9, Notre Dame Fighting Irish; -2
KBronie #8 Florida Gators; -3
Snottie #7 Evil scUM, Meechy Wolverines; -4
SeannieG #4 Oklahoma Sooners; -7
CCS #2 Alabama Crimson Tide; -9
McLovin #1 Clemson Tigers; -10

It's on.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

Sunday, August 18, 2019

GG Week 1



Whoa.
And bow before the Massive Cerebrum.

GG Week 1:

Miami v U of Florida Gators
Saturday, 8/24, 7 PM, ESPN, Camping World Stadium, Orlando, FL

UCLA @ Cincinnati
Thursday, 8/29, 7 PM, ESPN, Nippert Stadium, Cincinnati, OH

Oregon v Auburn
Saturday, 8/31. 7:30 PM, ABC, AT&T Stadium, Arlington, TX (aka JerryWorld)



1 for each win. 5 for the sweep. Feeling confident? Bet the ranch.

Let's go.
Roll the bones.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

BRFL Draft Days Are Upon Us

Lizzo,


Hoooleeee SHIT.
What the FUCK!?
I expect the AP Poll to drop tomorrow, Bizatches.
And..I. Am. Not. Ready.
I am not Worthy.
And neither are you, Fuckers.

But draft we must, damn it.
Damn it to HELL, it's Draft Time, like it or not, Tools.
Balls to the Wall, Motherfuckers.

Draft order for this, our Glorious Thirteenth Season on the cutting edge of puerile shenanigans:

Numba One: K Bronie, Man-Woman. Oh, yeah. Ima ring you up, Bitch. KMan takes #8 The Florida Gators with the first pick in the 2019 BRFL Draft. Starting at minus 3. Seannie G on the clock.) 09:10 AM, 8/20.
2: Seannie G takes #4 Oklahoma Sooners with the second pick. Starting at minus 7. Jimbosuke on the clock at 12:40 PM, 8/20.
3: JimboSucky takes #14 Utah Utes with the third pick. Starts at zero. SkHank on the clock at 12:42 PM, 8/20
4: SkHank with the 4th pick, SkHank goes with The Stanford Cardinal, #25. Starts at zero. SockPuppet on the clock at 13:02 PM, 8/20.
5: SockPuppet with the 5th pick, The SockPuppet and the PuppetMaster at AP #24, the Nebraska Cornhuskers. Starting at zero. DPo on the clock at 22:50 PM, 8/20.
6. DPo takes, with the number 6 pick, the Washington State Cougars, AP #23. Starts at zero. Snottie on the clock at 12:08 PM, 8/21.
7. Snottie takes, with the number 7 pick, 7th ranked and hated scUM, Big Blue, Meechy. Starts at minus 4. Q on the clock at 18:43 PM, 8/21.
8. Q with the #8 pick, the AP #11 Oregon Ducks. Starting at zero. Kitten was on the clock but pulled the trigger before I could catch up on his kitty ass.
9. Kitten with the #9 pick, the University of Central Florida. Ranked AP #17. Starting at zero. Obama on the clock at 17:10 PM, 8/21.
10. Obama takes the AP #10 team with the 10th pick in the BRFL draft, the Texas Longhorns. Starts at minus 1. Timmy! on the clock at 07:00 8/22.
11. Timmy the Bold!, located in passport control in Mauritius, with the #11 pick taps AP #9 Notre Dame. Starts at minus 2 with the Domers. McLovin on the clock at ) 08:24, 8/23.
12. McLovin taps #1 the Clemson Tigers. Starts at minus ten. Gives us all the joy of hating on Dabo for a whole second season. BroFro on the clock at 22:50 PM, 8/23.
13. BroFro (yes, you were tied with McDouchin but I flipped a coin. You lost.) The Bro goes with the unranked Black Knights of Army. A bold pick that is unprecedented in BRFL history. Starts the season at zero. Randi on the clock.
14. Randi, does some serious homework and slides in there with what could be the sleeper pick of the year, the unranked Virginia Cavaliers. Starts the season at zero. Last year's champion, CCS, on the clock at 12:05, 8/24. Bring this thing in for a landing, CCS.
15. CCS, with the 14th pick in the BRFL draft, chooses the Alabama Crimson Tide. AP#2. Starts at minus 9. What more can the Commissioner do? The picks are in. Kicking it off in Orlando. Let's go.

Please refer to the Living Document for recent rule manipulations. Looking at you, SkHank.

Be ready, Bitches.
The Commissioner is knockin'.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

and Lizzo.


Saturday, August 10, 2019