Transgambling

Transgambling;

So, here's what I'm suggesting: Say you find yourself in the position I was in during last years seemingly endless BRFL bloodbath. (KBronie was there too, but that's neither here nor there. Any one of us can, and has, found ourselves in that unenviable position).

Your team, the team you picked of your own volition, is obviously terrible. Every game is a probable loss and even when you win it's not terribly helpful.
No.
You're down, at the bottom of the heap, and you will fucking well stay there until the pay out at the end of the season.
Discouraging.
Disheartening.
Enough to make one lose interest in our whole noble enterprise, the BRFL.

Sure, you can bust your ass every weekend for GG. Unless you're Scott and you pussy out on the whole GG thing. Hey, a topic for another day. But yes. You can go all butt-wild on GG. And maybe you recoup a little money there. Good for you. Winning GG (and that's where the only real money is, winning) is fucking hard. We know this.

But...what if. 
What if you could use your GG points to gamble against your burgeoning BRFL losses? How cool would that be? Maybe you've got a sweet 20 GG points in your pocket, lagging the leader by only 3 points or so. But in terms of the BRFL you're in the Seventh Circle of Hell with minus 10 and a third string QB looking bewildered under center and a coach who's crawling into a bottle of Famous Grouse every night?
What the FUCK if I told  you that you could take 5 of your GG points and bet them on a sweep in GG that week? And, motherfucker, if that sweep comes through (what are the chances??) you not only reap the sweep benefit in GG but you get a...a...a DIDDLE that week in the BRFL? 5 points so your ass can start clawing it's way out of that deep dark stinking nether hole that your shitty pick landed you in 6 weeks before?
Now you're paying attention. Now you're right back in it. And life is worth living again. You rediscover food. Sex. Your kids. Your spouse. Not necessarily in that order.

Of course the flip side  is that if you miss that sweep you drop 5 in GG and I dock your sorry, compulsively gambling ass minus 2 in the BRFL. In addition to any other drop your puke team incurs. Not a ream, exactly, but a punishment.
And let's face it. There can be no crime without punishment. And your crime, committed long ago, was letting me talk you into this boondoggle in the first place.

Suggestions? Ideas? Let's hear it, if only so that we can just ignore it.

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life

BRFL Season 13; Retooling, The Commissioner Steps In.

Enter Sandman.

Brothers and Sisters,

Unless I am mistaken this is Season 13 for the BRFL. The SandMan is being inducted into the Hall of Fame. I can almost guarantee you that it will rain all weekend during the induction ceremony since this is, after all, the wettest year in the 124 years that the Feds have kept stats on precipitation.

One can expect a few changes in thirteen years. Certainly the Living Document has changed a bit over that time span. And damned if it isn't going to change again, right here and right now. So let's get to it;

This year the BRFL Rules Committee (which is, basically, me) has decided to introduce the long overdue McLovin/CCS Rule. Henceforth, in an effort to discourage "safe" picks, there will be stiffer penalties assessed on highly ranked AP draft picks. To be specific, there will be a penalty for picking any top ten team. I could point to a certain someone who racked up 19 points in the playoffs alone after playing what was arguably the most comically easy schedule in NCAA football. I could go there. But, really, do I have to?

 Or I could point to a certain individual who chose a team, whose name I can't even stand to write down on this sacred page, and rode the gravy train all the way to the Natty finals only to be out-douched by you-know-who.

 But, again; no. Not necessary. Wouldn't be prudent.

Therefore, without further preamble, let it be known that verily it remains true that one can pick any team they want. But if that team is ranked #1 in the AP you will be starting at minus 10. #2? Minus 9. And so forth until #10 where you will kick off at minus one. We will try this for a year and if it has the desired effect (a return  to more adventurous gambling) I will leave it alone. If not, I will come up with some other shit that I think is reasonable.

You have doubtless read my GG missive. Honestly, I cannot remember who paid their GG fees. So I'm just going to pay it out and hope I topped off the GG coffers before last season started. If you didn't pay, send me a twenty.

Heismaniac was a no show last year. I, for one, missed it. Was this a one-off incident or has Heismaniac gone the way of all flesh?

As for the pay out it will happen. Though, sadly, there will be no annual feasting and Jamboree. No much anticipated Commissioner's Remarks. No ritual display of the sacred BRFL icons.

The Commissioner's schedule is not favorable. The Commissioner also has a seven month old Blue Heeler puppy who will literally bite your ass and, since I don't like it when she does that, I can't imagine you will. She will also eat all your food. So we are taking a break from the Most Holy Saturday Night and it will be up to you to get your money to the Commissioner so he can pay your more fortunate compatriots.

The draft will proceed as it traditionally has. The Coveted Commissioner's Cup will be delivered along with the Liberace and the Pinkernell Award. The Shame Penguin. It will all be taken care of.
Will there be a commemorative tee shirt? Really, there should be. CCS has never won before and it was a hell of a season. I'll see what I can come up with.

In my next post we'll talk money and the intriguing idea of cross-gambling between GG games and the BRFL. I'm sure others  have thought about this but the most recent musings came from KBronieManWoman.

Until then, start doing your research. Or bend over and take the minus 12 I've got waiting for your ass if you pick Alabama.

Yours sincerely,

Jimbosuke,
Commissioner for Life