Keeping it Hornsby

Step into the harsh light of the 2018 Jamar Hornsby competition, Mr. Smith.

I guess it's more frustrating than I thought being Urban Meyer's wide receiver coach (AND head of recruiting). Okay, yes, it rankles when you have sub-4.4 receivers all over the field who also deliver crushing blocks and your Head Man wants to run his QB on third down all the time.
And, sure, it might cause a man to take a drink now and then when, on those somewhat rare occasions when your HC decides to air it out, that same QB delivers a Moon-Shot or a turf skipper or a nifty toss to The Buckeye Guy in row 7.
I understand that sucking up to 16 year old jocks on Twitter all the live long day might get old and maybe even drive a man to try to shore up his ego with a little extramarital hide the sausage with a co-worker (though the co-worker thing, Zach. Really?).

But did you have to bring the side-piece coworker home? To sleep over? And call her "baby"? While your wife, who actually has had a couple of your babies and had another one in the oven actually, three months cooked, was HOME?
Okay, maybe some wives wouldn't object to a shit-faced football coach husband pulling in late with one of the staff. That he is probably banging. And there may even be a few that would have put up with the sleep-over "baby"scenario. At least she would know where he was. But to get yanked by your night shirt and tossed into a wall when you're heading into your second trimester and you've just driven some skank-ass Ho home because your husband was too plastered to drive?

No.

That's a beer too far, Mr. Smith.
That's going to get you dimed out to the law on a 9-1-1 call every time.

Be a man, Bro. Sleep on the floor in the garage and take your lumps. Don't go off, physically, on your wife, because she kind of objects to your beer stinking, some-other-bimbo's perfume reeking ass sleeping it off in the same bed with her.
That one is going to come back and bite you in that ass, and it did.
Bad news; you're out of a job and kind of radioactive on the new-job trail.
Good news; you're out front in the Jamar Hornsby sweepstakes.

Finally, take a good look at this guy. Who does he look like?
Right.
Earle Bruce, former TOSU head coach who died this year. He is Earl Bruce's grandson. Urbs and Coach Bruce were very tight. Especially tight when Earl was demented and had no fucking clue who Urbs was.
Which must have made it hard for the Meyermeister to shit-can Wife-Beater-Boy. But maybe Coach Meyer has learned a thing or two about rogue elements in the wide receiver room since Aaron Hernandez killed some guys and then killed himself in prison. (Though his truly greatest crime was playing for the much hated New England Patriots and their transgender QB). Aaron Hernandez was a Florida Gator product from the Urban Meyer era. Guess who his wide receiver coach was?

Zach Smith.

The Hornsby just got a lot more interesting.

Jimbosuke
Commissioner for Life