GG Week 7 Results

 

Penn State 33 over USC 30, in Los Angeles, in OT. 

LSU 29 over Ole Miss 26, in Baton Rouge, in OT.

Oregon 32 over Ohio State 31, in Eugene. 

No sweeps this week.

KBron. Gutter-ball. 0 for 3 on the week. Stay at 11.

Big Dom. 1 for the PSU pick. 13 total.

BreauxFreaux. 1. Make it 18 on the season.

DPo. Nailed the PSU game. 17.

Ronde'. No entry. Sad. Zero on the week. 6 total which is ... sad.

$$uke. 1. Make it 25.

DogTheBountyHunter. 1. Go to 13.

Lola O. Picks up two. Whiffs on the Ohio State game. Make it 18 total. 

SockPuppet. 1. You have 15.

Psycho. 1. You have 15 as well.

ChibaChews. Bang, bang. Picked up 2. Chiba with 18.

Q. 1. Make it 7.

Timmy. Deuce. 2 to go to 14.

McLovin. 1 to make 12.

We all picked Ohio State. They let us all down. Sad face.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life.

GG Week 8 Games

 I want to give all of you the Week 8 Games because it's an epic weekend. Even you, Ronde'. Though you blew off the games last weekend and I'll never forget it, taking it personally, as I did. 

The way I see it, if I give you dorks the games now, you can spend hours of fruitless handwringing and researching, only to see it all blow up in your faces Saturday. Like last Saturday.

These are all Saturday games, by the way.

#7 Alabama Crimson Tide @ #11 Tennessee Volunteers. 3:30, abc/ESPN+.

#24 Meechigan @ #22 Illinois. Also 3:30, CBS/Paramount.

#5 Georgia @ #1 Texas Longhorns. 7:30, abc/ESPN+. Let's see who's for real. 

Roll the bones. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

BRFL Week 6 Results

Sonny Styles

KBron. Memphis. Did not play (DNP). Stay at +11.

Note: We've gone back Old School when it comes to BRFL communication. The Spread Sheet stuff just didn't really work out. 

BigDom. (Formerly CCS). SMU has found themselves a QB. Ponies 34 over Louisville, 27. The Cards take it in the cloaca at home. BigDom with 1 for the win, +5 for the DIDDLE! DIDDLE! DIDDLE!, +6 on the week, +17 total.

BreauxFreaux. Boise State both hosts and cock-whips Utah State to the tune of 62 - 30 in Idaho. 1 for the win, 1 for the no-drop, +4 for the Move Up, +6 on the week and, hello, +26 for the total to take the lead. You Bitch, Breaux. 

DPo. God Flamers postpone their tilt against FIU until 10/8. Whatever. Call it +11 for now. Wait ...  this just in, The Party of God overcomes FIU 31 -24 in OT, 10/8/2024. Why does it feel like this team has reached its ceiling? +12 their updated puny-ass score. 

Ronde'. VTech 31 on the road over Stanford 7. Some controversy on the scoring here. We straightened it out. 1 for the win. +1 on the week. +10 on the season. VTech still essentially nobody.

$$uke. How brief the glory. Cards trampled by the Ponies, 27 - 34 at home. Minus 3 on the power plunge out of the AP. Then, it's REAM! time, minus 5 more. Minus 8 on the weekend. $$uke down to +13. 😥

DogTheBountyHunter. Kansas drops another one. 31 - 35, the Jayhawks take the "L" on the road vs the Sun Devils. Sadness. Stay at minus 4.

Lola O. LSU DNP. 1 for the no drop. Total is +9.

SockPuppet. On the road, Miami bests Cal 39 - 38. 1 for the win, 1 for the no-drop, +2 on the move up (???), +4 weekend, +24 on the season for Sock and the Puppet Master. 

Psycho (formerly Snottie). Wooo-Pig-soooiiieee. The Vols go down on the road to Arkansas, 14 - 19. Minus 4 on the drop. Total is +15 on the season. Suddenly, like ... you're nobody. 

Chiba. Utes DNP. Still. 1 for the no drop. +2 on the move up. +3 on the weekend. You should just not play more often. +3 on the year. 

Q. Are you fucking kidding me? At home, FSU lays another egg. Clemson 29, Florida State 13. An absolute disaster in Tallahassee. Stay at minus 22.

Timmy!, UCLA comes to Happy Valley and gets handled by the Nittanys, 27 - 11. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +3 on the move-up (really? UCLA?) +5 weekend, +12 for Timmy! on the season. Road trip to the Coliseum looms.

McLovin. Buckeyes rock the All-Greys and bully Iowa in Columbus, 35 - 7 the final. But ... Iowa. Road trip to Eugene will tell the tale. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, 1 for the move up, McLovin is at minus 1.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

 

GG Week 7 Games

Penn State @ USC. Los Angeles, California, 3:30 PM CBS

Ole Miss @ LSU. Baton Rouge, Louisianna, 7:30, abc

Ohio State @ Oregon, Autzen Stadium, Eugene, Oregon, 7:30, NBC.

Roll the bones. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 6 Results

 Here's how it went down this weekend, Brothers and Sisters.

TAMU curb-stomps Missouri.  The Aggies can ball on Kyle Field. 41 - 10, TAMU.

Nebraska outlasts Rutgers. The BlackShirts might be back. 14 - 7, Huskers.

Washington gets pay-back on Meechy. Cry me a river, Sharon More.  27 - 17, Huskys.

See your email for details.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

Macho, macho man.

BRFL Week 5 Results

Freaks,

There has been some confusion with the scoring thus far this season. We've had equipment failures, a nervous breakdown, and rampant drug abuse in the back office but it looks like, with the help of Big Dom, we've finally straightened out the scores. See below for where you stand heading into Week six's contests:

KBron, Memphis: +11

Big Dom, SMU Mustangs: +11

BreauxFreaux, Boise: +20 (DIDDLE! last week)

DPo, Good-book Boys, +11

Ronde': VTech,: +10 (You don't play until Tuesday, for some reason.)

$$uke, L'ville: +21

Dawg, Kansas: minus 4

Lola O, LSU: +8

SockPuppet, Miami U: +20

Psycho, Tennessee: +19

ChibaChews, Utah: 0

Q, Florida State: -22 (you play Clemson today.)

Timmy!, Penn State: +7

McLovin, Ohio State: minus 4

 

That's it, Bitches,

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 6 Games

 I know, I know. 

You're thinking, 'The Commissioner is slipping". 

Here I am, trotting out the Week 6 games, and you haven't even seen the Week 5 Results. Did I send out the Week 4 Results?  I can't remember. I don't want to deal with it if I didn't so, well, fuck you.

Anyhoo. My shorts.

Eat them.

Week 6 Games.

And I'll admit it. We're scraping the bottom of the barrel here because there just are not a lot of quality games being played this weekend. 

Moving on,

All Saturday games:

#9 Missouri @ #25 Texas A&M, Kyle Field, College Station, TX. Noon. abc/ESPN+.

Rutgers @ Nebraska, Memorial Stadium in ... 'a town called Lincoln, Nebraska' ("with a sawed-off shotgun by my side"), 4 PM, FS1. I'm jazzed for this game. You should be too, BITCHES.

#10 Michigan Wolverines at Washington Huskies, a rematch of last year's National Championship game. Husky Stadium, Seattle, Washington. 7:30, NBC. 

Again, the Commissioner for Life has engineered a slate of games that invites you, the BRFL Participant, to enter a possibly irreversible vegetative state, from noon until midnight on October 5th, kept alive by nothing more than a pizza, liquor and a urinal. 

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 5 Games

 Week 5 Games, Bitches.

#15 Louisville @ Notre Dame #16, in South Bend. 3:30 PM, on the 'cock (NBC Peacock).

#2 Georgia @ Alabama #4, in Tuscaloosa. 7:30 PM, ESPN+.

unranked Washington State @ Boise State #25. Boise, Idaho. 10 PM, FS1.

You know what to do.

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

BRFL Week 3 Results, Slaves

Down and dirty, the Week 3 results.

Details of how I arrived at these numbers will follow.

Fear not, My Children, Big Dom double checks these scores and is never wrong.

KBron: +10. 20 - 12, Memphis beats up on FSU.

Big Dom: +9. Ponies did not play (DNP).

Breaux: +8. Broncos DNP.

DPo: +10. God Posse dumps UTEP, 28 -10.

Ronde'. +9. Hokies over Old Dominion, 37 - 17.

$$uke. +22. Cardinals DNP.

Dawg. minus 4. Jayhawks go down to UNLV. 23 - 20 the final. UNLV doesn't suck.

Lola O. +1. Out of the darkness, into the light. LSU over SowCow, on the road, 36 - 33. 

Psycho. +15. Miami seal clubs Kent State 71 - 0. Good God. 

Sock. +17. Vols snuff Ball State, 62 - 0. Powerhouse.

Chiba. +4. Utes overcome a plucky Utah St. Eleven, 38 - 21.

Q.  minus 23. FSU goes down again. 12 - 20 vs Memphis. No words.

Timmy. minus 3. Penn State DNP.

McLovin. minus 8. Ohio State DNP.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

 

GG Week4 Games

GG Faithful,

Finally, we are getting some good games. 

Up this week for your gambling enjoyment:

Kansas @ West Virginia University.  In Morgantown, WV. Noon, ESPN2

Utah (#12) @ The Oklahoma State Cowboys (#14). In Stillwater, OK. PokeSticks much?

The Tennessee Vols (#6) @ The Oklahoma Sooners (#15). In Norman, OK. 7:30 PM, abc/ESPN2

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 3 Results. Bitches.

 GG Week 3.

Arizona comes to Manhattan, Kansas, and gets schooled. KState 31, Arizona 7. KSU Wildcat QB Avery Johnson lights it up in Bill Snyder Memorial Stadium, 14/23 for 156 and 2 TDs and, oh yeah, 17 totes for 110 yards and a 6.5 yd average on the ground. Kansas State's leading rusher.

LSU downs the Gamecocks 36 - 33. SowCow can't hold them off and Lola O escapes with the dub. 

Pitt entertains West Virginny and is down 34 - 24 with 4:49 left in the game. Alabama tranny QB Eli Holstein (21/30 301 yds., 10 yds avg.) puts the Pitt Panthers on his back and somehow engineers a 38 - 34 Pittsburgh victory. This guy was on fire. 

See the spread sheet I emailed you for scores.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

BRFL Week 2 Results

 

Don't even talk to me about Excel spreadsheets and almost dead computer towers. Especially not you, DPo, not-doing-so-well-in-the-BRFL Guy. 

I kicked it old school on my Gazzintas and cipherin this week and, sparing you the mathematical genius stuff, this is where you stand, Douchebillys:

KBron: +9. Coxswain.

BigDom: +9. Tool.

Breaux: +8. Fuck off.

DPo: +9. Your face. My ass.

Ronde': +8. Yesterday's scrotum.

$$uke: +21. Mega Cock.

Dawg: - 4. I hear a gas station attendant laughing.

Lola O: -1. Participation trophy.

Psycho: +12. Asshole. Liberace.

SockPuppet: +13. Compulsive masturbation.

Chiba: +2. Disordered chromosomes.

Q: - 23: Found on the road dead as fuck.

Timmy: -1. Embarrassing gerbil fetish.

McLovin: -9. No. Just ... no. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 3

GG Week 3.

This is not a great week for games. 

Fear not, Loved Ones! The Commissioner is on the job. Hell yeah.

#20 Arizona @ # 14 Kansas State. Wildcat on Wildcat violence. 8 PM FOX, FRIDAY, 9/13. 

#16 LSU @ South Carolina Gamecocks. Cock whip or Tiger balm? Noon, SATURDAY, 9/14, abc.

West Virginia @ Pitt. The Backyard Brawl. 3:30, SATURDAY, 9/14, ESPN2.

God damn it now, roll the bones, My People.

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 2 Results

 Patrons of the BRFL,

The Commissioner's computer continues to die a slow, painful death. At this point, when I tickle the magic plastic keys, I never really know, for sure, what I'm going to get. 

And neither do you. 

Just to be clear? That's your problem. Not mine. Okay? Continuing.

I guess there won't be any fancy jpegs or gifs this week (since my computer greets attempts at posting such things as those with a jolly, 'Fuck You!')

Yet still. Here's how it went down in GG World, Week 2.

Texas pulls into Ann Arbor and opens a can of whoop-ass on the Wolverines. 31 - 24 the final.

Syracuse (?!) moves to 2 - 0 after downing the visiting Georgia Tech eleven, 31 - 28.

The Cyclones from Iowa State roll into Kinnick Stadium and establish, once and for all, that Kirk Ferentz is probably one of the most overpaid, underpowered assholes in America. 20 - 19, the 'Clones hand the Hawkeyes the L in Iowa City. 

Check out the spread sheet attachment in the email I sent you to fully understand how worried you should be. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life

But ... wait a minute ... the intrepid Commissioner found a work-around. How 'bout that Commissioner?

See that hand waving in the back? With the black wrist band and the white tape on the thumb? That's Seth McLaughlin, TOSU center, waving goodbye to true freshman Jeremiah Smith as Smith runs away from the Western Meechy Broncos to the end zone. You love to see it. 

GG Week 2

 GG Week 2.

Texas Longhorns at Michigan, in Ann Arbor, Noon, FOX.

Georgia Tech at Szracuse, in The Dome, Noon, ACC Network, whatever that is. 

Iowa State at Iowa, 3é30, CBS-Paramount.

Bitches, the tzpos in this post are not an accident. Mz hard drive is slipping. the Computer Genius was here todaz, house call, and the diagnosis is terminal. Hospice. So, thatäs the deal. I canät even punctuate. Fuck zou. 

ROLL THE BONES. 

Lance Herbstrong

Commissioner for Life