Week 9.KBron. Memphis slips by Charlotte. 33 - 28, at the end of the fourth stanza. Who the fuck is 'Charlotte'? Was this a bad pick? Yessssss. Bronie with +14.
Big Dom. SMU struggles with lowly Duke in a turn-over fest somewhere in North Carolina. Ponies 28, DukeDouchers 27, in OT (I think. I wasn't really paying attention.) Insanely, 1 for the win (?), 1 for the no-drop and +2 on the move up (stop yanking my sausage, AP) for a +4 weekend. BigDom with +26.
BroFro. 29 - 24, Broncos over UNLV. Is Boise a good team or do they just have one Super-Human player? How the fuck would I know that? 1 for the win. 1 for the no-drop. +2 on the AP fellatio. +4 weekend. +32 for the Bitch that seems to be pulling away with this thing.
DPo. The man who brought us CJK5H goes down. God Posse 24, Kennesaw State 29. Zero on the week. There is nothing more to say here. +12 on the year.
Ronde'. V Tech with the whoop-ass on G. Tech, 21 - 6. 1 for the win. + 11 on the season. Is it too late for Ronde'? Let's hope so.
$$uke. Louisville sneaks by Boston College on the road, 31 -27. Hard to get awfully excited about this one. 1 for the win. Louisville Cardinals at +15.
DogThe BountyHunter. Good God. Kansas State, not a terribly good team, drops Kansas, a team that, basically, sucks, 29 - 27 in Manhattan, Kansas. Did anyone, other than, maybe, Dawg, watch this game? I doubt it. Zero week, Mission Control. Minus three on the season for Dawgie.
Lola O. LSU gets dumped in College Station. TAMU 38, LSU 23. Brian Kelly mini-stroke. The AP is vengeful and Satanic. Minus 8 on the power-dive. Lola ends the week at plus 10. Dreams of Glory are, well, just that. Dreams.
SockPuppet. Miami Hurricanes with the ritual sacrifice of Florida State, 36 -14 in Miami. 1 for the win, 1 for the no-drop, 1 from the AP, +3 weekend, Sock is not fucking around. Wants that repeat BRFL Crown. +30 on the season.
Psycho. BYE week for Tennessee. 1 for the no-drop. +20 on the year.
ChibaChews. Another week, another humiliation. Houston 17, Utah 14. Your season is officially a disaster, Cheebs. Minus 11.
Q. Miami gives the rudderless Seminoles the 'deep wash', 36 - 14. The pain is indescribable.
I guess.
Another week, another zero. Minus 22.
Timmy! Penn State travels to Camp Randall and bends the Badgers over, 28 - 13. To me, that's impressive. To the AP, not so much. 1 for the win. 1 for the no-drop. +18 on the season.
McLovin. When does a win feel like a loss? When a bunch of pissant Cornhuskers stuff your run game and take you to late in the 4th period at home. Reason for concern much, McLove? 21 - 17, the Buckeyes prevail over Nebraska at home. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. +2 adds up to zero on the season.
Watching Dylan Riola's fat butt-cheeks gouge Ohio State's defense for 30 yards on the ground made me want to puke.
Until we meet again, 'Tards.
Lance Herbstrong,
Commissioner for Life