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Tuesday, November 5, 2024

GG Week 11 Games

Week 11 Games

And on this historic day for our nation we turn, of course, to this week's BRFL GG games. 

All Saturday games so maybe have a TV in the basement next to your shotgun, short-wave radio, your canned goods, and bottled water. In case, you know, something nuclear goes down.

Georgia Bulldogs @ Ole Miss. 3:30 PM, in Oxford, on abc.

Colorado Buffaloes @ Texas Tech. 4 PM, in Lubbock, TX, FOX.

Alabama Crimson Tide @ LSU. 7:30 PM, in Baton Rouge, on abc.

Just like today, if you haven't voted yet, it's time to roll the bones.


Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life

Monday, November 4, 2024

GG Week 10 Results


Week 10.
 

Ohio State 20, Penn State 13 in Beaver Stadium. Worth watching the game just for that drone shot of the Nittany Lion statue perched above the capacity crowd. Amazing that they manage to lose games in that place. 


Louisville 33, Clemson 21. In 'Death Valley'. In prime time, on Saturday Night. Dabo down.


The Ponies pound Pitt, 48 - 10 in Dallas. One big weekend for BigDom.

KBron. Gets one for SMU. 18 total.
BigDom. 2 to go to 19.
BreauxFreaux. Gets 2. Has 25.
Ronde'. Nails 1. Has reached ten.
$$uke. Clemson upset blows the sweep. I wasn't the only one. 2 to go to 33.
Dawg. 2 to get to 21.
Lola O. Shocking week where she rolls the dreaded gutter ball. Zero. Stay at 21.
SockPuppet. 2 to climb to 23.
Psycho. Only 1 to get to 20.
Chiba. Two. Clocks in at 22.
Q. Oh, GOD. Another gutterball. Zero weekend. You only have 8. That's like last place.
Timmy! 2 to go to 23. So close to a sweep but ... Penn State.
McLovin. 2 to go to 17. Dude, Pitt?

Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life

Friday, November 1, 2024

BRFL Week 9 Results


 Week 9.

KBron. Memphis slips by Charlotte. 33 - 28, at the end of the fourth stanza. Who the fuck is 'Charlotte'? Was this a bad pick? Yessssss. Bronie with +14.

Big Dom. SMU struggles with lowly Duke in a turn-over fest somewhere in North Carolina. Ponies 28, DukeDouchers 27, in OT (I think. I wasn't really paying attention.) Insanely, 1 for the win (?), 1 for the no-drop and +2 on the move up (stop yanking my sausage, AP) for a +4 weekend. BigDom with +26. 

BroFro. 29 - 24, Broncos over UNLV. Is Boise a good team or do they just have one Super-Human player? How the fuck would I know that? 1 for the win. 1 for the no-drop. +2 on the AP fellatio. +4 weekend. +32 for the Bitch that seems to be pulling away with this thing. 


DPo. The man who brought us CJK5H goes down. God Posse 24, Kennesaw State 29. Zero on the week. There is nothing more to say here. +12 on the year. 

Ronde'. V Tech with the whoop-ass on G. Tech, 21 - 6. 1 for the win. + 11 on the season. Is it too late for Ronde'? Let's hope so.


$$uke. Louisville sneaks by Boston College on the road, 31 -27. Hard to get awfully excited about this one. 1 for the win. Louisville Cardinals at +15.

DogThe BountyHunter. Good God. Kansas State, not a terribly good team, drops Kansas, a team that, basically, sucks, 29 - 27 in Manhattan, Kansas. Did anyone, other than, maybe, Dawg, watch this game? I doubt it. Zero week, Mission Control. Minus three on the season for Dawgie. 


Lola O. LSU gets dumped in College Station. TAMU 38, LSU 23. Brian Kelly mini-stroke. The AP is vengeful and Satanic. Minus 8 on the power-dive. Lola ends the week at plus 10. Dreams of Glory are, well, just that. Dreams. 

SockPuppet. Miami Hurricanes with the ritual sacrifice of Florida State, 36 -14 in Miami. 1 for the win, 1 for the no-drop, 1 from the AP, +3 weekend, Sock is not fucking around. Wants that repeat BRFL Crown. +30 on the season. 


Psycho. BYE week for Tennessee. 1 for the no-drop. +20 on the year. 

ChibaChews. Another week, another humiliation. Houston 17, Utah 14. Your season is officially a disaster, Cheebs. Minus 11.

Q. Miami gives the rudderless Seminoles the 'deep wash', 36 - 14. The pain is indescribable. 
I guess.
 Another week, another zero. Minus 22.


Timmy! Penn State travels to Camp Randall and bends the Badgers over, 28 - 13. To me, that's impressive. To the AP, not so much. 1 for the win. 1 for the no-drop. +18 on the season.


McLovin. When does a win feel like a loss? When a bunch of pissant Cornhuskers stuff your run game and take you to late in the 4th period at home. Reason for concern much, McLove? 21 - 17, the Buckeyes prevail over Nebraska at home. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop. +2 adds up to zero on the season. 
Watching Dylan Riola's fat butt-cheeks gouge Ohio State's defense for 30 yards on the ground made me want to puke.

Until we meet again, 'Tards.

Lance Herbstrong, 
Commissioner for Life

Wednesday, October 30, 2024

GG Week 9 Results


 GG Week 9.

And, once again, Brian Kelly is pissed. This time because Marcel Reed came off the bench for TAMU and stole his lunch money.

Texas A&M 38, LSU 23. Lola, maybe this is NOT the year. 


Minnesota clobbers Maryland, 48 - 23. Ski U Mah. 


Meechy sneaks by Little Brother, 24 - 17 in the Big House. Fist fight begins the second time expires. Stay classy, Michigan

KBron. SWEEP! 5 to go to 17.
Big Dom. 2 to make 17. You hate Marcel Reed.
Freaux. SWEEP! 5 to reach 23. Stop and smell the roses, Bitch.
DPo. SWEEP! 5 to go to 23. See?! I've been telling everyone you're not really a retard all season.
Ronde'. 1. To make 9. My ass has more points than that.
$$uke. SWEEP! I now have 31. Fuck you all.
Dawg. SWEEP! 5 to go to 19. Comin' on.
Lola O. 2 to go to 21. Not your week, Lola.
SockPuppet. SWEEP! 5 to make 21. Nice.
Psycho. 2 to get to 19. Not hopeless. Which is too bad.
ChibaChews. 2 to reach 20. Big fucking deal.
Q. 1. You now have 8. Whatever.
Timmy! SWEEP! 5 to make 21. You're almost somebody.
McLovin. 1. You have 15. You also have a diagnosis. We're just not sure what it is.


Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life

Sunday, October 27, 2024

GG Week 10 Games


 Week 10.

#4 Ohio State @ #3 Penn State, Noon, FOX. 11/2/2024.

Louisville Cardinals @ #11 Clemson Tigers, 7:30 PM, ESPN. 11/2/2024.

#18 Pittsburgh @ #20 SMU, 8 PM, ACCNetwork. 11/2/2024.

Roll dem bones.


Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life

Friday, October 25, 2024

BRFL Week 8 Results


And, just like that, it's week 8.

KBron. Memphis outlasts North Texas 52 - 44 in Memphis. 1 for the win. +13 is the total for K-Man.

Big Dom. The Ponies pound Stanford, 40 - 10 in Palo Alto. 1 for the win. Impressive AP love adds +4 more. +5 weekend adds up to +22 on the season.

BreauxFreaux and Boise with the BYE. Seriously fucked over by the AP with a two point drop. WTF, Breaux? Back down to +28.

DPeaux. God Posse takes another week off. DNP, goose-egg on the week. Stay at +12.

Ronde'. Hokies wake from slumber and throttle Boston College 42 - 21 in Blacksburg. 1 for the win. +12 total.

$$uke. The Cardinals are victimized by Miami, 52 - 45 on the road. A sickening sense of hopelessness sets in. Stay at +14.

DogTheBountyHunter. Kansas abuses Houston 42 - 14 at Arrowhead Stadium. 1 for the win. Ascend to minus 3, Dawg. 

Lola O. LSU skonks the Pigs in Fayetteville, 34 - 10 the final. 1 for the win, 1 for the no-drop and that's it. +2 on the week. + 18 the season's score. 

SockPuppet. Miami dumps Louisville 52 - 45. Louisville is officially not good. 1 for the win. 1 for the no-drop. +2 on the week. +27 the total. 

Psycho. Tennessee hosts Alabama and beats their asses 24 - 17 in a penalty-fest but hell of a game otherwise. 1 for the win. 1 for the no-drop. +4 from the AP on the move-up. +6 weekend. Psycho claws some points back and rests at +19.

ChibaChews. What the hell happened to the Utes? TCU beats them, in Salt Lake, 13 - 7 and TCU is not good. Stay at minus 11. Road to nowhere much?

Q. It just keeps getting worse. Even when you don't think it can. Duke bests Florida State 23 - 16 in wherever the fuck Duke plays. Stay at minus 22. 70 million dollar buy-out means the FSU coach isn't going anywhere. 

Timmy! BYE week for the Penn State Eleven. 1 for the no drop. +16 the total. James Franklin getting his head waxed at the only all-Amish whorehouse in State College. 

McLovin. BYE week. The pain. The healing. The full-throated screaming of the Ohio State fan-base demanding that everybody be fired and shot at dawn. Not a great week to be walking alone in Columbus. 1 for the no-drop. Minus 2 for McLovin. 

Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life


Wednesday, October 23, 2024

GG Week 9 Games

 


It's a tight contest in GG.

LSU @ Texas A&M, Noon, ABC/ESPN+, College Station, TX.

Maryland Terrapins @ Minnesota Golden Gophers, 3:30, FS1, Huntington Bank Stadium, Minneapolis.

Michigan State @ Michigan, 7:30, BigTenNetwork, Ann Arbor, MI.


Who's gonna' sweep? 

Roll the bones.

Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life


Tuesday, October 22, 2024

GG Week 8 Results

 

Another week with ZERO sweeps. 
We all took the bait on the Texas game. 
Sigh. 

The Tennessee Vols hand it to Alabama in Knoxville, 24 - 17 the final. Didn't seem that close. UT is for real. 

Illinois, wearing really strange outfits, dumps the hapless Wolverines 21 - 7 in Champaign. Yes, yes. Holy shit, indeed, that the Fighting Illini are the #20 team in the land. Still, that's no excuse to cover a perfectly good helmet with stickers that simulate a century old leather helmet. NO. Excuse. Just, like, no. 

Georgia feels slighted and takes it out on the Texas Longhorns with an ass-whippin' in Austin, 30 - 15. Just, well, fuck you, Bevo. 

KBron: 1 to go to 12.
Big Dom: 2 to make 15. 
BreauxFreaux: Gutter-ball. Zero weekend. Stay at 18, Loser.
DPo: 1 to move to 18. Big deal. 
Ronde': You showed up. Great. 2 to move to 8. Wow.
$$uke: 1 to make 26. I guess I'm no Arnold Palmer. Then again, I don't shower with other PGA golfers.
Dawg: 1 to go to 14. I don't respect your performance thus far in GG.
Lola O: 1 to go to 19. Waiting for the wheels to come off and you to revert to your usual trash effort.
SockPocket: 1 to go to 16. Big man. Wooooo.
Psycho: 2 to go to 17. Finally, someone who's not fucking around.
Chiba: Gutter-ball. Zero. Still, you have 18. Get your shit together.
Q: Jesus. Naught into naught equals naught. Zero on the weekend. You have seven. Is there some history of serious head trauma that the rest of us don't know about?
Timmy! 2 to go to 16 for Mr. Cocky. Pride goeth before a fall, Bitch.
McLovin: 2 to go to 14. Making moves. Regrettably. 



Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life

Monday, October 21, 2024

BRFL Week 7 Results


 Week 7.

KBron. Memphis drops South Florida, 21 - 3 on the road. Does South Florida suck? Pretty sure. 1 for the win, Mr. Not-such-a-big-deal. +12 on the  season.

Big Dom. SMU DNP. Zero. But wait. THERE'S MORE. A mysterious 'no-play DIDDLE!DIDDLE!DIDDLE! Plus 5. I don't think I've ever seen this before. Somehow it seems wrong but, WTF. It's Season Seventeen, where anything can happen. The Ponies are #25 in the AP. Big Dom is at +17.

BreauxFreaux. Boise rolls Hawaii, 28 - 7 in Coconut Land. What's-his-name gains another 500 yds on three carrys. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +2 on the move up. Holy shit, Breaux has +30 on the year.

DPo. On this Saturday God rested. And so did Team Jesus. Zero. +12.

Ronde'. VTech with the BYE. Best possible outcome for VT. +10.

$$uke. L'ville Cards vanquish woeful Virginia on the road, 24 - 20. Not much to brag about. +1. +14
 total. 



DogTheBountyHunter. Kansas DNP. Best way to avoid another loss Dawg. Stay at minus 4.

Lola O. Is this the season?! LSU finishes off Ole Miss, in Baton Rouge, in OT, 29 - 26. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, massive 5 point pump from the AP, and a 7 point weekend bonanza lands you at +16.

SockPuppet. Miami Hurricanes with the BYE week. 1 for the no drop. +25 the total. Thoughts of a repeat BRFL championship are hard to supress right now for 'Puppet.

Psycho. Tennessee dispatches Florida in Neyland Stadium 23 - 17 and, okay, Florida is struggling, but the AP DROPS the Vols 3? Not sure I've seen THAT before. 1 for the win, minus 2 on the weekend, Psycho with +13.

ChibaChews. OMG it just keeps getting worse. The Utes trot out a creaky, 43 year old, one-handed Cam Rising and lose 19 - 17 to Arizona State on the road. The Utes season has officially gone off the rails. This loss leads to a screaming power-dive out of the AP, that's minus 9, then the dreaded REAM!, minus 5 more, and it's a minus 14 weekend. Chiba takes up residence at minus 11.
You Chews, you lose. 

Q. FSU plays it safe with a BYE week. Minus 22. 

Timmy! Penn State makes the cross-country trip to Los Angeles and ... dumps USC 33 - 30 in OT. Another cruel twist of the knife in Lincoln Riley's once-promising career. 😢. 1 for the win.1 for the no drop. 1 for the move up in the AP. +3 weekend. And with Ohio State douching (see below), suddenly that tilt in State College November 2nd looks like a big game. Sit tight at +15.

McLovin. Ohio State travels to noisy Autzen Stadium and loses to Oregon 31 - 32 in a game eerily reminiscent of the last time these two teams tussled in Columbus. The Buckeye offense does fine (except when it doesn't) and the defense is lost in the ozone. Time for the legendary Ohio State D-line coach, Larry Johnson, to move on. AP only slaps a minus 2 on the Scarlet and Gray and McLovin sits at minus 3.


Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life   
                                                                                                                                                                      

Wednesday, October 16, 2024

GG Week 7 Results

 


Penn State 33 over USC 30, in Los Angeles, in OT. 

LSU 29 over Ole Miss 26, in Baton Rouge, in OT.

Oregon 32 over Ohio State 31, in Eugene. 

No sweeps this week.

KBron. Gutter-ball. 0 for 3 on the week. Stay at 11.
Big Dom. 1 for the PSU pick. 13 total.
BreauxFreaux. 1. Make it 18 on the season.
DPo. Nailed the PSU game. 17.
Ronde'. No entry. Sad. Zero on the week. 6 total which is ... sad.
$$uke. 1. Make it 25.
DogTheBountyHunter. 1. Go to 13.
Lola O. Picks up two. Whiffs on the Ohio State game. Make it 18 total. 
SockPuppet. 1. You have 15.
Psycho. 1. You have 15 as well.
ChibaChews. Bang, bang. Picked up 2. Chiba with 18.
Q. 1. Make it 7.
Timmy. Deuce. 2 to go to 14.
McLovin. 1 to make 12.

We all picked Ohio State. They let us all down. Sad face.

Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life.



Tuesday, October 15, 2024

GG Week 8 Games


 I want to give all of you the Week 8 Games because it's an epic weekend. Even you, Ronde'. Though you blew off the games last weekend and I'll never forget it, taking it personally, as I did. 
The way I see it, if I give you dorks the games now, you can spend hours of fruitless handwringing and researching, only to see it all blow up in your faces Saturday. Like last Saturday.

These are all Saturday games, by the way.

#7 Alabama Crimson Tide @ #11 Tennessee Volunteers. 3:30, abc/ESPN+.

#24 Meechigan @ #22 Illinois. Also 3:30, CBS/Paramount.

#5 Georgia @ #1 Texas Longhorns. 7:30, abc/ESPN+. Let's see who's for real. 

Roll the bones. 


Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life

Monday, October 7, 2024

BRFL Week 6 Results

Sonny Styles

KBron. Memphis. Did not play (DNP). Stay at +11.

Note: We've gone back Old School when it comes to BRFL communication. The Spread Sheet stuff just didn't really work out. 

BigDom. (Formerly CCS). SMU has found themselves a QB. Ponies 34 over Louisville, 27. The Cards take it in the cloaca at home. BigDom with 1 for the win, +12 for the total. 

BreauxFreaux. Boise State both hosts and cock-whips Utah State to the tune of 62 - 30 in Idaho. 1 for the win, 1 for the no-drop, +4 for the Move Up, +6 on the week and, hello, +26 for the total to take the lead. You Bitch, Breaux. 

DPo. God Flamers postpone their tilt against FIU until 10/8. Whatever. Call it +11 for now. Wait ...  this just in, The Party of God overcomes FIU 31 -24 in OT, 10/8/2024. Why does it feel like this team has reached its ceiling? +12 their updated puny-ass score. 

Ronde'. VTech 31 on the road over Stanford 7. Some controversy on the scoring here. We straightened it out. 1 for the win. +1 on the week. +10 on the season. VTech still essentially nobody.

$$uke. How brief the glory. Cards trampled by the Ponies, 27 - 34 at home. Minus 3 on the power plunge out of the AP. Then, it's REAM! time, minus 5 more. Minus 8 on the weekend. $$uke down to +13. 😥

DogTheBountyHunter. Kansas drops another one. 31 - 35, the Jayhawks take the "L" on the road vs the Sun Devils. Sadness. Stay at minus 4.

Lola O. LSU DNP. 1 for the no drop. Total is +9.

SockPuppet. On the road, Miami bests Cal 39 - 38. 1 for the win, 1 for the no-drop, +2 on the move up (???), +4 weekend, +24 on the season for Sock and the Puppet Master. 

Psycho (formerly Snottie). Wooo-Pig-soooiiieee. The Vols go down on the road to Arkansas, 14 - 19. Minus 4 on the drop. Total is +15 on the season. Suddenly, like ... you're nobody. 

Chiba. Utes DNP. Still. 1 for the no drop. +2 on the move up. +3 on the weekend. You should just not play more often. +3 on the year. 

Q. Are you fucking kidding me? At home, FSU lays another egg. Clemson 29, Florida State 13. An absolute disaster in Tallahassee. Stay at minus 22.

Timmy!, UCLA comes to Happy Valley and gets handled by the Nittanys, 27 - 11. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, +3 on the move-up (really? UCLA?) +5 weekend, +12 for Timmy! on the season. Road trip to the Coliseum looms.

McLovin. Buckeyes rock the All-Greys and bully Iowa in Columbus, 35 - 7 the final. But ... Iowa. Road trip to Eugene will tell the tale. 1 for the win, 1 for the no drop, 1 for the move up, McLovin is at minus 1.


Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life





 

GG Week 7 Games


Penn State @ USC. Los Angeles, California, 3:30 PM CBS

Ole Miss @ LSU. Baton Rouge, Louisianna, 7:30, abc

Ohio State @ Oregon, Autzen Stadium, Eugene, Oregon, 7:30, NBC.

Roll the bones. 


Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life

Sunday, October 6, 2024

GG Week 6 Results


 Here's how it went down this weekend, Brothers and Sisters.

TAMU curb-stomps Missouri.  The Aggies can ball on Kyle Field. 41 - 10, TAMU.
Nebraska outlasts Rutgers. The BlackShirts might be back. 14 - 7, Huskers.
Washington gets pay-back on Meechy. Cry me a river, Sharon More.  27 - 17, Huskys.

See your email for details.

Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life

Macho, macho man.


Saturday, October 5, 2024

BRFL Week 5 Results

Freaks,

There has been some confusion with the scoring thus far this season. We've had equipment failures, a nervous breakdown, and rampant drug abuse in the back office but it looks like, with the help of Big Dom, we've finally straightened out the scores. See below for where you stand heading into Week six's contests:

KBron, Memphis: +11
Big Dom, SMU Mustangs: +11
BreauxFreaux, Boise: +20 (DIDDLE! last week)
DPo, Good-book Boys, +11
Ronde': VTech,: +10 (You don't play until Tuesday, for some reason.)
$$uke, L'ville: +21
Dawg, Kansas: minus 4
Lola O, LSU: +8
SockPuppet, Miami U: +20
Psycho, Tennessee: +19
ChibaChews, Utah: 0
Q, Florida State: -22 (you play Clemson today.)
Timmy!, Penn State: +7
McLovin, Ohio State: minus 4

 

That's it, Bitches,

Lance Herbstrong
Commissioner for Life