Bowlapolypse, The Final Chapter

 CFP Semis and the Championship Game

Ole Miss vs U of Miami

Vrbo Fiesta Bowl

Jan 8, 7:30 PM, ESPN

State Farm Stadium, Glendale, AZ

Oregon vs Indiana U

Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl

Jan 9, 7:30 PM, ESPN

Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, GA

You pick 'em

CFP Championship

Jan 19, ESPN

Hard Rock Stadium, Miami Gardens, FL

Here's the deal:

Pick the first two games. One point for each correct pick.

Predict the winner, get two points. 

Nail all three of these games (Fiesta Bowl winner, Peach Bowl winner and the winner of the final) get 6 GG points for the SWEEP.

So you could get zero, one, two, three, or six, in this last round. 

Picks (including the final) must be in by January 8th Fiesta Bowl kickoff.

Roll the Bones. 

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

GG Bowls, Chapter 3 Results

 Bowlapolyse Chapter 3.

Penn State beats up on Clemson, 22 - 10, in the Pinstripe Bowl. Who thought it was a good idea to play a football game (that doesn't really matter) in the Bronx, in December, in a baseball stadium? Of course it snowed 8 inches the night before. Yes, players were tackling themselves because of the shitty turf. All part of the fun. 

Not for Dabo though. His Tigers finish 7 - 7, including the bowl game loss. Clemson was ranked #4 headed into this season and sports writers were talking about Cade Kubniak (I don't give a shit if I spelled it wrong) as a legit Heisman Trophy candidate. 

Penn State paddled the Tigers asses without Kaytron Allen or Nicholas Singleton, the runnning backs their offense was built around. Penn State's interim coach made Dabo his bitch. 

Happy Holidays.

BYU scores 15 unanswered points in the 4th stanza of the Pop Tarts Bowl to complete a balls-to-the-wall comeback against Georgia Tech. Georgia Tech possessions in the second half? 3 and out, 3 and out, 8 play drive ending in an interception by BYU. Bear Bachmeier covers himself in glory by going 27 for 38 and 325 yards through the air and running in a crucial 2 point conversion. BYU 25, GTech 21 the final. 

Pop Tarts. The only non-CFP bowl that really matters.

Never change, Tarts. 

LSU 35, Houston 38. LSU continues to wade into the deep end of a slurry pond using their tried and true system for losing games. Remember the rant ex-LSU coach Brian Kelly went on, at a post-game press conference week 2? I do, because, for some reason, I remember shit like that. I can't help it.

The rant was set off by a reporter's question about why LSU couldn't run the ball. They ran for 77 against Houston. Houston ran for 201. Stay classy, Brian Kelly. Always, Bro. 

Q: SWEEP! 5 to your 35 gives you 40. Crucial points.

Chiba: 2 to bring it up to 37. So average.

DTBH: 2 to make 31. Shitty.

Lola: SWEEP! 5 gets you 33 total. One turd above Shitty. 

Ronde': Add 2 to your 34 and you get 36. Yawn.

DPo: 2 + 30 = 32. Joke.

Sock: SWEEP! 37 and add 5, you have 42. Player.

KBro: Got 2. Have 48. More of a Player.

$$uke the Mindless: 2, total 36. Pathetic.

Psycho. 46 and add 1 for 47. Also a player.

Teebs: SWEEP! 5 to your 41 gives you 46. What the fuck?!

McLovin: 2 plus your 35 gives you 37. Mr. Mediocre.

Big Dom: SWEEP! 5 added to your 44 give you 49. Sole possession of the lead. Bustin' moves.

BroFro: 2 to your 46, 48 total. Clemson? Oh, what could have been. Sigh.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

New Years Day CFP Games

 New Years Bowls.

Au revoir, Bif Poggi.

CFP Quarterfinal at the Orange Bowl

(#5) Oregon vs (#4) Texas Tech

Hard Rock Stadium, Miami Gardens, FL

Noon, ESPN

CFP Quarterfinal at the Rose Bowl

(#9) Alabama vs (#1) Indiana

Rose Bowl, Pasadena, CA

4 PM, ESPN

CFP Quarterfinal at the Sugar Bowl

(#6) Ole Miss vs (#3) Georgia

Caesars Superdome, New Orleans, LA

8 PM, ESPN

Roll the bones, 2026.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

GG Bowls, Chapter 3

 Three meaningless Bowls. 

All December 27th.

Bad Boy Mowers Pinstripe Bowl.

Penn State vs Clemson, Yankee Stadium, the Bronx, NY. 

Noon abc. 

Pop-Tarts Bowl.

Georgia Tech vs BYU, Camping World Stadium, Orlando, FL.

3:30 abc.

Kinder's Texas Bowl.

LSU vs Houston, NRG Stadium, Houston, TX.

9:15 ESPN.

Three games that don't mean anything to anybody (except Q and Teebs) but, what the hell, it's a Saturday. 

Roll the bones.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

GG: CFP First Round

 On campus games.

Miami Hurricanes 10, Texas A&M 3. So much for the home field advantage and the "12th Man". The 'Canes ran all over TAMU. Michael Irvin (remember him?) went bat-shit crazy. He crawled on all fours. He kissed Mario Cristobal during a post-game interview. He stretched a TAMU jersey (#12) over a garbage can on the sidelines, and whipped it with a belt. And these were just the moments caught on camera. Based on this game, Miami looks fierce. Could Mario Cristobal finds a way to fuck things up?

It did take him a long time to figure out he could run on TAMU. 

Miami will be playing Ohio State which, again based on this game, bodes ill for Buckeye fans as the 'Canes D-line is playing at an extremely high level. 

McLovin was the lone GGer to pick the Hurricanes. 

Ole Miss destroys Tulane 41 - 10 in Oxford. 3 GGers went with the Wave. No one knows why. Trinidad Chambliss is lobbying for a sixth year of eligibility. Probably hoping for a growth spurt to move up in the draft. I don't really know. Guessing. 

"This is fun! Wait ..."

Oregon guts James Madison U, 51 - 34 in Eugene. JMU scored 34 but they were chucking it downfield on almost every play so, difficult to tell what that 34 points means. 

Q: 1 to go to 35. Like, do you just not give a shit?

Chiba: 2 to make 35. Still in there pitching. Whatever, KC.

DogTheBountyHunter: 2 to reach 29. This is not very good.

Lola: 2 to get to 28. I'm thinking 'lost cause' on GG for you, Lola.

Ronde': 1, which is pathetic, but you have 34, Tulane fan.

DPo: No entry. Did I miss them? Help me out here. Tentatively you still have 30.

SockPuppet: 2 to go to 37. Kind of sinking in GG.

KBronie: 2 to make 46 and a share of the lead. 

$$uke the Mindless: 2. Total 34. Mr. Nobody.

Psycho: 2. Boom. 46 and a share of the lead. Nice. 

Teebs: 2 + 39 and you have 41. Could still do some damage. 

McLovin: 2 to make 35. Smart enough to pick Miami, crazy enough to pick Tulane.

Big Dom: 2 to go to 44. Lurking. Chasing glory.

BreauxFreaux: 2 to go to 46 and a share of the three way lead. I warned you about this asshole. 

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

Bowls, Chapter 1 Results

 Dawn of the Bowls.

Kennesaw State gets molested by Western Meechy, 41 - 6. That's the way the Myrtle Beach Bowl goes sometimes. A total blow-out.

Not sure about this match-up. Kennesaw State (I had to look it up) is in Georgia. But, let's face it, K State can't outbid UGA and Geo Tech. Money talks. Whatever. 

Incredibly, two BRFLers picked Kennesaw State to win this one. And why not? Does anybody know anything about either of these teams, other than, head-to-head, Kennesaw State is no match for the Broncos? Why would anybody know about these teams? Moving on.

When NC State scored 21 points in the first half before Memphis got on the board, you knew this one had the makings of a snoozer. Memphis finally scored and never scored again. They turned it over twice. Nobody scored at all in the second half. Snoozer? Well ... yeah. NC State 31, Memphis 7. The death knell has sounded for Broney's Tigers.

Two knucklehead GGers had Memphis.

And then the CFP began. 

Oklahoma came blasting out of the chute to a 17 - 0 lead and the fans in Norman were buyin' up tickets to the Rose Bowl. John Mateer could do no wrong. Many is the Okie who started another 'DeBoer to Michigan' rumor. 

Then the Sooners imploded. What the fuck happened on the punt? We may never understand what that was about. Man-God Mateer delivered his usual signature disaster play by lasering a pick-six directly to a lonely Tide DB's gloved hands. Nice tackle by the way, John. After a 17 point second stanza, Alabama outscored the Sooners 17 - 7 in the second half. 

Fun Facts: Oklahoma passed for  more yards. They ran for almost twice as many yards (though both teams sucked at running the football). Oklahoma was playing at home. But Oklahoma has Brent Venables as an HC and Alabama has Kalen DeBoer. One of those guys is psychotic and one coaches Alabama. 

In the end, Alabama 34, Oklahoma 24.

Q: SWEEP! 5 to step up to 34. This was big, Q.

Chiba Chews: SWEEP! 5 to get 33, Cheebs. 

DogTheBountyHunter: 1. Tripped up by the Sooners and the Tigers. You have 27. Not great.

Lola: GUTTERBALL. 0 on the week. Stay at 26. Just, not good.

Ronde': 2 to reach 33. Solid action.

DPo: 1. Really? Total 30.

SockPuppet: SWEEP! 5 to go to 35. Colossal BRFL implications.

KBronieBoy:2 to go to 44. Bronie sharing the lead. 

$$uke the Mindless: SWEEP! 5 to crawl to 32. Big deal.

Psycho: SWEEP! 5 to get to 44. Tied for the lead.

Teeblations: SWEEP! Freakish. Only yesterday, you sucked at this. Total 39.

McLovin: SWEEP! This fucking guy. 5 to go to 33. He got 3 BRFL points for this win.

Big Dom: 2 to lurch to 42. Knocked off the lead with an untimely Sooner pick.

BreauxFreaux: SWEEP! 5 to reach 44 and a share of the lead. I warned you about this asshole. 

"Just doin' my job, Brent."

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life. 

 

CFP first round Campus Games

 CFP first round, on -campus games games

You have a little over 24 hours to pick these games.

University of Miami @ Texas A&M, Saturday, Noon, abc and ESPN. 

Tulane Green Wave @ Ole Miss, Saturday, 3:30 PM, TNT, HBO Max (??)

James Madison U @ Oregon, Saturday, 7:30, TNT, HBO Max (??)

I don't really know what TNT is. And I don't think I have HBO Max. 

Whatever.

Roll the bones,

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

Bowlapolypse, Chapter 1

 Dawn of the Bowls. 

Friday. 12/19. 

Myrtle Beach Bowl

Kennesaw State vs  Western Michigan

Conway, SC

11 AM ESPN

Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl

Memphis Tigers vs NC State Wolf Pack

Tampa, FL

2:30 PM ESPN

CFP Round One 'On Campus' Game

Alabama at Oklahoma

Norman, OK

8 PM, ABC, ESPN

Roll the bones.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 15 Results

Cignetti gonna' cignetti

 Week 15.

Conference Championships.

The Dream dies for Q in Arlington. All that money Texas Tech spent in the off-season pays off as the Raiders give the Cougs a pasting, 34 - 7. Bear Bachmeier is battered and gimpy after the first quarter, but he sure looked good on that first drive. After that, not so much. TTech earns the first round bye. If I'm Quathy (and I'm not) I'm hoping Sock Puppy's Texas A&M squad never gets off the tarmac and loses in the first round. Then it just comes down to GG. Tight it is, Obie Wan.

Georgia lays a whuppin' on Alabama. Dawgs 28, Tide 7 in the SEC finale. Nobody wants to play Georgia right now. I speak for myself when I say that a timely flu epidemic in their practice facility would not be unwelcome. Aren't these the guys that are all the time getting arrested for driving 140 mph in school zones? One can hope. Law enforcement, wake the fuck up! Tide is still in the playoffs (it's an SEC thing). McLovin has big dreams. Alabama rushed for -3 yards against the Bulldogs.

Um ... Jayden Fielding is not exactly clutch. With a chance to (likely) send a game, during which they pretty much sucked, into overtime, the Buckeye kicker blasts a 27 yd FG attempt deep into the stands, way wide right. That's a 27 yarder, People. Emblematic of Ohio State's star-studded offense in Indianapolis, where they managed a miserable 10 total points and insisted on playing turtle-ball and lining up as many tight ends on the field as they could, on almost every play. Indiana turnstiles Buckeye offensive linemen all game long. B1G officiating crew says it's 'okay' to tackle Ohio State D linemen. Holding is not a "thing" in the B1G. All that aside, this was a total douche job by the crew from Columbus. 

Indiana 13, Ohio State 10. Indiana. Fucking Indiana University!

There was exactly one sweep. 

Q. Only 1. 29 is your total. Suddenly, you need to focus like a laser beam on GG.

Chiba. 2. You have 28. Your team won the Mountain West, Bro. Congratulations.

DogTheBountyHunter. GUTTERBALL. Somebody had to roll one. You have 26. Tied for last. 

Lola. 2 to reach 26. It's a little less lonely at the bottom.

Ronde'. 1 to make 31. Trying harder than most years.

DPo. 2 to get up to 29. Imagine me making a fart noise.

Sock. 2 to add up to 30. Win in the playoffs and GG is no big deal. Lose and GG is your LIFE.

KBroniePonyBoy. SWEEP! 5 to take the lead at 42. Nice.

$$uke. 1. Total 27. Just sad. 😞

Psycho. 2 to hit 39. Is this the best you've ever done in GG, BlowHole?

Teebs. Add 2 to make 34. Performing at a surprisingly respectable level.

McLovin. 1 to get 28. Are you, like, a pervert?

Big Dom. 2 to hit 40, but sucking hind tit to the Broney now.

BroFro. 2 to reach 39. I told you; Watch out for this scumbag.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 14 Results

 Week 14.

Rivalry Week.

Texas 27, TAMU 17, in Austin, Texas. DTBH, DPo and McLovin all took Texas. Everybody else got bitch-slapped. I did not see this one coming. Should have. The Longhorns on a Friday night in Austin in the Lone Star Showdown? I didn't see this game. But the box score says something about Marcel Reed tossing a couple INTs in the fourth quarter. Sockpuppet feels pain.

Ohio State 27, Michigan 9. The Ohio State O-line wakes from its slumber and dog-walks the Maize and Blue. Note #77, the much maligned right guard (Tegra Tshabola) and tight end Will Kacmarek (#89) doing a little road grading for Isaiah West, one of two OSU freshman RBs that had success in Ann Arbor on Saturday afternoon. 

 

Vanderbilt 45, Tennessee 24, in Knoxville. I started watching this game and, for most of the first half, it looked like anybody's game to win. Turned back to it later and Vanderbilt was kicking the living shit out of the Vols. Another chapter written in The Book of Diego. And to think, he's only 35 years old. A big, hot, steaming shit taken on Ronde's dreams that he definitely wasn't asking for. 

Q. 1 to reach 28. Q's killing it in the BRFL. Does not give one shit about GG.

Chiba. 1 to go to 26. I'm tired of your excuses.

DogTheBountyHunter. 2 to snag 26. Hook 'em.

Lola. 2 to make it to 24. That's last place.

Ronde'. Scores 1 to make it to 30. These points are suddenly crucial for  you.

DPo. 25 + 2 = 27. Hook 'em.

SockPuppet. 2 to get 28. Grief is a part of life, Homie.

KBronieBoy. 2 to storm up to 37. What's your deal?!

$$uke. 1. Total 26. Just, well, completely unacceptable. 

Psycho. 2. Turns out he had Vandy and I didn't count it. Holy shit, he's tied for the lead. He'd better be. He has Illinois. 38 total. 

Teebs. Just 1. But a respectable total of 32. Cheating?

McLovin. 2. Total 27. I have negative feelings about this.

Big Dom. Only 1 but this fucker is still crushing it with 38. Very uncomfortable with this situation.

BreauxFreaux. Just the 1. BUT. The Fro now has 37 so don't sleep on The Bro.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 15 Games

 Week 15.

Conference Championships.

Now, this here? This is a slate of games that a Commissioner can be proud of. All Saturday games.

BYU vs. Texas Tech, noon, ABC, AT&T Stadium, Arlington, TX.

Georgia vs Alabama, 4 PM, ABC, Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, GA.

Indiana vs Ohio State, 8 PM, Fox, Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, Indiana.

Roll the bones, People. 

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

Bowlapolypse 2025-6

 Bowls and Playoffs.

The BRFL will be dropping fewer rounds of bowl games this year. We will do our best to feature every playoff game. At the time of this writing no one really knows which teams are going to play in which games. But, with the exception of playoff games, one thing we have learned is that it just doesn't matter. Why doesn't it matter? 💰💰💰. Players that are entering the draft will sit out. Probably players that are Transfer Portal bound might opt out. Who the hell knows who the coach of this or that team will be? So, basically, picking the winner of any non-playoff bowls is not much more than a coin flip. 

Here are the games we will feature as we roll toward the end of the season:

December 19 : Myrtle Beach Bowl

                         Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl

                         College Football Playoff (CFP) 1st round game

December 20: 3 differerent CFP games

December 27: Go Bowling Military Bowl

                        Wasabi Fenway Bowl

                        Tax-Slayer Gator Bowl

January 1: 3 different CFP Quarter Final Games

January 8, 9 and 19: CFP Semifinal Games and the National Championship Game. 

The usual rules apply. 1 for a win, 5 for a sweep.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 14 Games

Rivalry Week. 

FRIDAY NIGHT.

Texas A&M at Texas (Longhorns), in Austin, 7:30 PM, ABC. SockPuppy with moist pantaloons for this one? I'm thinking 'yes', sopping, soaking, dripping, wet pantaloons. You fucking know the Longhorns be playin' with that strange Matthew McConnaughey ju-ju. 

SATURDAY.

Ohio State at Michigan, in Ann Arbor, Noon, FOX. Check out Gus Johnson's horrid moustache. This thing is a travesty. I expect some hysterics and hyperbole from Gus. That's his schtick. The network has been hyping this game since last week. Enough already. Personally, I'm hoping for a minimum of fights and ejections. And a lack of questionable calls by the officials. 

Vanderbilt at Tennessee Vols, in Knoxvillew, 7:30, ESPN. There are people in Knoxville who will want to kill Josh Heupel if he loses this game. And I think it was Psycho who pointed out that Clark Lea, Vandy's coach, comes off as totally a ... psychopath. My question here is, is Clark Lea a white guy or just a super pale black guy? Not that it matters. Is he an albino? Here's a shot of him next to an average white guy and an average black guy. What's your deal, Clark?

YOU make the call. 

Roll the bones.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 13 Results

 Week 13.

The Ponies are back. SMU ass-whips Louisville on the road, 38 - 6. The Big-12 is so confusing that I've lost track of whether this beat-down matters. The AP loved it and so did BroniePony Boy. Q is the only one who picked Louisville. Not sure why. Let's keep her in our prayers, Guys. 

Oregon 42, USC 27. Lincoln Riley still hasn't figured out the whole defense thing. It's nice that the TroyMen threw for 330 yards but, well, Oregon picked up a total of 436 and 179 of that was running the ball. USC rushed for a team total of 52 yards. Rang up zero sacks. 2 TFLs. 1 INT. 

Not that you give a shit but I can't hate Dan Lanning anymore. He called out the SEC for scheduling week 13 games with Coastal Carolina, Mercer, Eastern Illinois (Roll Tide!), Charlotte and Samford. Book 'em, Dan-O. Murder One. 

Pitt 42, Georgia Tech 28. This looks like a blow out and it was. In the first quarter. Then Georgia Tech got their shit straightened around and turned it into a game. If not for an untimely pick-six (a 100 yard pick-six) it could have been maybe, sort of, well ... different. This is the usual fucked up shit that goes on in the ACC so shout out to Ronde', $$uke and Teebs for picking the Panthers. 

Q: Add 2 to reach 27. Good. 

ChibaChews: Add 2 to go up to 25. Not so good.

DogTheBountyHunter: 2 to make 24. Getting less good.

Lola: 2 to get ... 22. This is bad.

Ronde': SWEEP! 5 to go to 29. Comeback time?

DPo: 2 to make 25. Not trying that hard.

SockPuppy: 2 to reach 26. Meh.

KBroneyPonyBoy: 2 and now he has 35. Clawing his way toward World Domination.

$$uke: SWEEP! 5 to make 25. $$uke, The Resurrection. 

Psycho: 2 gives him 36. So close, but those GTech boys fucked you over.

Teeblations; SWEEP! 5 to make 31 and you, my lad, are definitely a player now.

McLovin: 2 added to your 23 gives you 25. $$uke has that after betting the ranch and losing. How does that make you feel? About yourself I mean?

Big Dom: 2. A chance for glory slips away with your numbskull bet on GTech. Still, you have 37.

BreauxFreaux: 2 to reach 36. You're hurting. You're healing. There's always next week.

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life

GG Week 12 Results

 Week 12.

McLovin was working on a half-chub when he told me about his SWEEP last weekend. Like, 'DUDE, I swept!'. 

Being the Commissioner is sometimes hard. You have to ask the tough questions. Deliver bad news. Make your own kin feel like shit. So I didn't enjoy doing it but I told 'Lovin that, yeah, it was really great that he got a sweep and all but, then again, so did ten other people out of a possible fourteen. So, you know, like, feather my bung, Bitch.

Notre Dame guts Pittsburgh on the road, 37 -15. Jeremiah Love runs for twice as many yards as the whole Pittsburgh team. CJ Carr kind of plays like shit, tossing 2 INTs and gaining 7 yards on 5 totes. Best part of the game was Marcus Freeman shoving Pat Narduzzi when he went to convert the obligatory post-game coach's handshake into an awkward man-hug. Like, get the fuck off me, Sweaty White Guy.

My favorite Notre Dame player's name? Junior Tuihalamaka. Close second? Boubacar Traore. Good Irish  lads from the Old Sod. 

USC sneaks by Iowa 26 -21 at home. In a driving rain. In Los Angeles. Mark Gronowski does not play well. USC's defense plays just well enough. Why does Iowa give the west coast teams of the B1G Ten such trouble? Are the west coast teams, I hate to even think this, pussies? Can they not handle a little Man Bawl from chronically overpaid and underachieving Kirk Ferentz? I don't know. Look, let's just forget I even brought it up. 

Georgia violates Texas 35 -10 between the hedges and turns what was supposed to be a  marquee game into a giggler. Gunner Stockton puts on a show: 24/29 for 229 and 4 TDs (an INT, too, so there's that) and 6 carries for 29 yards and a touchdown. Arch Manning's stat line was, eh, not as good.

Texas can't run the ball. Their defense is tired. Georgia looks like a sack full of starving raccoons dropped in the meat department of Price Chopper.

Q. 2. Admire the way you will always pick Iowa. 2 to make 25.

Chiba. SWEEP! 5 adds up to 23.

DTBH. 2. Also a compulsive Iowa picker. 2 to get 22.

Lola. SWEEP! 5 plus 15 equals 20. You don't see that every day.

Ronde'. SWEEP! 5 to reach 24. Turning it around maybe?

DPo. SWEEP! 5 to your 18 makes 23. My take on you is that I don't know what the hell to think about you.

Sock. SWEEP! 5 to reach 24. I would keep an eye on Q's GG scores if I were you. But I'm not you. 

KBro. SWEEP! 5 moves you up to 33. Nice. Could be better.

$$uke. SWEEP! 5 to make 20 after being decimated in a failed Bet the Ranch bid last week.

Psycho. SWEEP! 5 to your 29 gives you 34. Almost dominant.

Teebs. 2 to make 26. Iowa, Teeblations? Pourquoi?

McLovin. SWEEP! 5 to bust up to 23. Not so special but I'm still proud of you.

Big Dom. SWEEP! Add 5 to your 30 and you are the Leader with 35. I fart in your general direction.

BroFro. SWEEP! 5 to getcha' to 34. So close. Have you thought of just killing Big Dom?

Lorne Malvo

Commissioner for Life